#381
What’s the difference between a well dressed man on a bike and a poorly dressed man on a unicycle?
Attire
#500
Waitress: ‘Do u have any questions about the menu?’ Me: ‘What kind of font is this?’
#391
Someone told me my clothes looked gay..
They did come out of the closet this morning.
#505
Living on earth may be expensive, but it includes an annual free trip around the sun.
#229
Just got sacked from my job as a dishwasher. I kept putting the plates and bowls in the wrong order. The boss reckons I am dishlexic.
#480
A guy just threw milk at me… How dairy?!
#111
My wife broke up with me because of my gambling. All I can think of is how to win her back.
#777
I lost my mood ring and I don’t know how to feel about it
#89
Do you know why i make puns?
its my respunsibility.
#34
What do you call a lady with one leg?
Eileen
#572
NSA Pickup Line #2:
I know exactly where you have been all my life
#718
What does a panda ghost eat? Bam-BOO!
#506
I just wrote a book on reverse psychology. Do *not* read it!
#614
What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground beef
#846
Did you hear about the houses falling in love? It was a lawn-distance relationship.
#894
What does a baby computer call his dad?
Data
#872
What did the hat say to the hat rack?
You stay here Iām going on a head
#298
I bet the butcher $50 that he couldn’t reach the meat off the top shelf. He said, “No, the steaks are too high.”
#88
I threw an Asian man down a flight of stairs. It was Wong on so many levels.
#160
The roundest knight at king Arthur’s round table was Sir Cumference.