#755

A hole was found in the wall of a nudist camp. The police are looking into it.

#139

I told my wife she drew her eyebrows on too high. She looked surprised.

#710

I really hate those people who knock at your door and tell you how you need to be ‘saved’ or you’ll ‘burn.’
Stupid firemen.

#25

Relationships are a lot like algebra. Have you ever thought about your X and wondered Y?

#814

What do you call a wolf that knows what’s going on?
Awarewolf

#322

Why can’t you hear a pterodactyl in the toilet? Because it has a silent p

#206

Is it bad to tell knock knock jokes to homeless people?

#689

What’s the difference between a golfer and a skydiver? A golfer goes *whack* “damn” and a skydiver goes “damn” *whack*

#154

I have a fear of speed bumps. Im slowly getting over it

#792

My wife screamed “Ugh you haven’t heard a word I said, have you!?”
What a strange way to start a conversation

#318

I’ve decided to sell my Hoover … well, it was just collecting dust

#102

I called the vet to complain about a bill. He just put the phone down. As quickly and humanely as possible.

#166

My tailor is happy to make a pair of pants for me, or at least sew it seams.

#228

I wanted to watch the world origami championship on TV but it was only on paper view.

#893

How did Darth Vader know what Luke got him for Christmas?
He felt his presents

#603

Do skunks celebrate Valentine’s Day? Sure, they’re very scent-imental!

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