#33

What do you call a guy with a rabbit up his butt?
Warren

#847

My friend just got a job at the zoo, circumcising elephants. The pay isn’t great but he gets huge tips.

#319

I’ve just been on a once-in-a-lifetime holiday. I’ll tell you what, never again

#323

My wife says I’m hopeless at fixing appliances. Well, she’s in for a shock!

#233

I still remember the day the scented candle shop I worked at burned to the ground.

Everyone was so calm…..

#20

I went to a zoo in China last month, all they had in it was a small fluffy dog.
It was a Shitzu.

#360

My jokes are still in alpha

Hopefully soon they’ll get beta

#430

Whenever I pass someone texting and driving, I throw my beer at their window

#374

Why don’t flies go to church?
Because they’re in sects

#822

This next song is about subtraction
“Take it away boys!”

#691

What did the cow say to her calf?
It’s pasture bed time

#470

My first job was working in an orange juice factory, but I got canned: couldn’t concentrate.

#684

I told my doctor that I broke my arm in two places. He told me to stop going to those places.

#871

What did the bra say to the hat?
You go on a head I’m gonna give these two a lift

#555

My wife asked me to join her for yoga class. I said “Namaste home”

#275

Why did everyone want to hang out with the mushroom? Because he was a fungi.

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