A bill collector came to my house the other day, so I gave him a huge stack of old bills

Did you hear about the horse and pig that are dating?
They’re in a stable relationship

What does a panda ghost eat? Bam-BOO!

A guy walks into a bar and orders a fruit punch.
Bartender says “Pal, if you want a punch you’ll have to stand in line”. The guy looks around, but there is no punch line.

When he proposed to her. She found it very engaging.

What do the movies titanic and the sixth sense have in common.
Icy dead people.

What do you call an Amish guy with his hand up a horse’s butt?
A mechanic!

My wife said “Go to the store and buy a loaf of bread. If they have eggs, buy a dozen.”
So I returned with 12 loaves of bread

What do squirrels give for Valentine’s Day? Forget-me-nuts.

I went bobsleighing the other day, killed 250 bobs.

I really hate those people who knock at your door and tell you how you need to be ‘saved’ or you’ll ‘burn.’
Stupid firemen.

I’ve found a job helping a one armed typist do capital letters.
It’s shift work.

What did the blanket say as it fell of the bed?
Oh sheet

I poured root beer into a square glass.
Now I just have beer

What part of a vegetable do cannibals struggle to eat?
The wheelchair

Why should you never give Elsa a balloon?
Cause she’ll just let it go

Have you heard about the cannibal that passed his brother in the forest?

What do you call a man with no arms or legs hanging on the wall?
Art

What do you call it when Batman skips church? Christian Bale.

What kind of train eats a lot?
A chew chew train