What do you call a woman with a toothpick up her butt?


My therapist says I have a preoccupation with vengeance. We’ll see about that.


Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the craft. Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can’t have your kayak and heat it too.


Claustrophobic people are more productive thinking out of the box.


I think they picked me for my motivational skills. Everyone always says they have to work twice as hard when I’m around!


What do you call a guy no arms no legs in the mail box? Bill.


I thought I had a Japanese friend, but it was just my imagine asian


I heard there was a new store called Moderation. They have everything there


If you could rehydrate those raisins, that’d be grapes.


Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused Novocaine during a root canal? His goal: transcend dental medication


My wife says I’m immature. I told her to get out of my fort


How Long is a Chinese man’s name.

No, it actually is.


Someone told me my clothes looked gay..
They did come out of the closet this morning.


Did you hear about the fire at the shoe factory? It was a real tragedy, 100 soles were lost.


Why did Humpty Dumpty push his girlfriend off the wall? So he could see her crack!


I saw an ad for burial plots, and thought to myself this is the last thing I need.


The seven dwarfs were in the bath feeling happy so he got out.

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