Give a Nigerian a fish he’ll eat for a day. Teach a Nigerian to phish and he’ll become a prince and start e-mailing people

My wife left me because I sold her wheelchair. I knew she’d come crawling back

My girlfriend and I often laugh about how competitive we are. But I laugh more.

As I said before, I never repeat myself.

Got a universal remote for Father’s Day.
This changes everything!

A horse walks into a bar. Several patrons get up and leave as they recognise the potential danger in the situation

Did you know I was bilingual? Yeah I speak English and profanity

My honey farmer friend has a thing for big butts. I suppose Booty is in the eye of the bee-holder.

A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I’m afraid of widths.

Why should you never trust a train?
They have loco motives

Frankly, auto correct, I’m getting tired of your shirt.

The invisible man and invisible woman had children… they weren’t much to look at

My cousin drowned. At his funeral we laid a life jacket on his coffin.
It’s what he would have wanted.

Santa’s elves are just a bunch of subordinate Clauses.

A baby seal walks into a club.

Prison may be just one word. But to some, it’s a whole sentence.

There are plenty of fish in the sea but until you catch one you’re just stuck here holding your rod…

Working in a mirror factory is something I can totally see myself doing