#800
I’d tell you a joke about crops, but it’s a bit corny.
#799
Dad: Son, I don’t think you’re cut out to be a mime artist
Son: Was it something I said?
Dad: Yes
#798
A jumper cable walked into a bar, the bartender said “I’ll serve you, but don’t start anything!”
#797
My dad always used to say “The sky’s the limit!”
Which is probably why he got fired from his job at NASA
#796
My mate just got fired from the mint factory.
His wife went absolutely menthol
#795
Why did the butcher get dressed up?
He was going to the meatball
#794
What do you call a snake that is 3.14 metres long?
A pi-thon
#793
I couldn’t get in to the library last night.
It was over booked.
#792
My wife screamed “Ugh you haven’t heard a word I said, have you!?”
What a strange way to start a conversation
#791
What is red and bad for your teeth?
A brick
#790
One of my mates is selling his budgie.
Unfortunately it’s not going cheap
#789
Why couldn’t the bell pass his music test?
He was a dumbbell
#788
What jam can’t you eat?
Traffic
#787
Murphy’s law states anything that can go wrong will go wrong, but have you heard of Cole’s law? It’s finely sliced cabbage.
#786
Interviewer asked me if I’d make a good waiter.
Let’s just say I can bring a lot to the table
#785
My wife hates Oasis and asked me to stop singing Wonderwall.
I said maybe
#784
What do you call a business cow?
An entrepe-moo-er
#783
Counting in binary is as easy as 01 10 11
#782
What do you call a bear with no ears?
B
#781
I decided to make my password “incorrect” because if I type it in wrong, my computer will remind me,
“Your password is incorrect.”
