An SEO guy walks into a bar, pub, inn, tavern, hotel, public house, brew house, beer hall, bodega, izakaya

Fishermen are reel men.

So after I won the game for our team I decided to throw the ball into the crowd like they do on T.V.
Apparently, that’s a no-no in bowling.

Have you heard about corduroy pillows?
They’re making headlines.

My wife isn’t talking to me because apparently I ruined her birthday.
I’m not sure how I did that – I didn’t even know it was her birthday

Have you ever tried eating a clock? It’s time consuming

I’m great at multitasking.
I can waste time, be unproductive and procrastinate all at once!

I’m close friends with 25 letters of the alphabet, I don’t know y

Relationships are a lot like algebra. Have you ever thought about your X and wondered Y?

Smoking will give you cancer.
Eating bacon will you give you cancer.
But for some reason, smoking bacon will cure it.

My friend has got a butler who only has one arm.
Serves him right.

Why should you never trust a train?
They have loco motives

What did the tree say to autumn? Leaf me alone.

The soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray was a seasoned veteran

When life gives you melons, you’re probably dyslexic.

Even when I’m really tired I refuse to take naps during the day. My wife says I’m resisting a rest.

This guy said to me: “I’m gonna attack you with the neck of my guitar.” I said: “Is that a fret?”

19 and 20 got into a fight.
21.