So this guy with a premature ejaculation problem comes out of nowhere

What did one lumber jack say to another lumber jack?
“I need to axe you a question”

There are plenty of fish in the sea but until you catch one you’re just stuck here holding your rod…

A hole was found in the wall of a nudist camp. The police are looking into it.

A bill collector came to my house the other day, so I gave him a huge stack of old bills

PMS jokes aren’t funny. Period.

Several guys are sitting around having a drink and one guy says “My wife’s an angel” another guy says “Your lucky, mines still alive.”

My dad always told me “Don’t be quick to find faults”.
Good man, terrible geologist.

Nobody’s perfect. I’m a nobody.

NSA Pickup Line #1:
Did you fall from heaven?
Because there’s no tracking data on how you arrived at this location

People are making end of the world jokes like there is no tomorrow.

At any given moment the urge to sing, “The Lion Sleeps Tonight” is just a whim away. A whim away. A whim away.

I used to think I was indecisive, but now I’m not too sure

I still remember the day the scented candle shop I worked at burned to the ground.

Everyone was so calm…..

My cross-eyed wife and I just got a divorce. We didn’t see eye to eye. I also found out she was seeing someone on the side.

Just found the worst page in the entire dictionary. What I saw was disgraceful, disgusting, dishonest, and disingenuous.

I was ordering birthday cake over phone.
They asked “And what would you like the cake to say?”
I covered phone to ask my wife. “Do we want a talking cake?”

What do pimps and farmers have in common? They both need a hoe to stay in business

Two blondes are facing each other across a wide stream.
One yells to the other, ‘How do you get to the other side?’
The other blonde replies, ‘You are on the other side!’

Why did the blonde stare at frozen orange juice can for 2 hours? Because it said ‘concentrate’.