#138

I met my wife at an Arthritis support meeting.
You know when two people just click.

#54

I like European food so I decided to Russia over there because I was Hungary. After Czech’ing the menu I ordered Turkey. When I was Finnished I told the waiter ‘Spain good but there is Norway I could eat another bite’.

#417

You know you’re ugly when it comes to a group picture and they hand you the camera.

#603

Do skunks celebrate Valentine’s Day? Sure, they’re very scent-imental!

#227

I asked my wife for “something Cuban” for my birthday, and she got me a Che Guevara shirt.

Clothes, but no cigar.

#160

The roundest knight at king Arthur’s round table was Sir Cumference.

#416

I had a dream last night that I was a muffler. I woke up exhausted.

#159

How many Freudians does it take to change a light bulb? Sex.

#850

Nothing makes me more suspicious than an unsolicited compliment.

#605

What do you call a Far Eastern monk who sells reincarnations?
A used karma dealer

#457

You know it’s cold outside when you go outside and its cold

#131

I’ve just found out one of my mates works as a mime artist. He’s kept that quiet.

#798

A jumper cable walked into a bar, the bartender said β€œI’ll serve you, but don’t start anything!”

#152

Why does the alcoholic Avon lady walk funny? Because her lips stick.

Back to top