#689

What’s the difference between a golfer and a skydiver? A golfer goes *whack* “damn” and a skydiver goes “damn” *whack*

#608

What do you call a Mexican with a vasectomy?
A dry Martinez

#392

What did the electrician say when he got shocked?
That hertz.

#723

My neighbour is a stripper and a coeliac which is tough because she can only jump out of certain cakes.

#491

I just watched a program about beavers. It was the best dam program I’ve ever seen.

#635

People who sometimes use the wrong words should have the humidity to admit it.

#655

How many kids with ADHD does it take to change a light bulb?
Let’s go play on our bikes

#195

What kind of prize do you give someone who hasn’t moved a muscle in over a year?
Atrophy.

#219

It’s Jamaican hair style day at work tomorrow. I’m already dreading it.

#11

A handicapped guy stole my wallet.
He can hide but he can’t run

#598

How do you turn a duck into a soul singer?
Put it in the microwave until it’s Bill Withers.

#494

I always take life with a grain of salt, …plus a slice of lemon, …and a shot of tequila.

#696

I asked my North Korean friend how it was there, he said he couldn’t complain

#620

The Energizer bunny ended up in jail.
He was charged with battery

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