Yeah, it was on Fry Day, I can’t believe they got killed for the halibut. No motive, someone should seas the culprit. I’m crabby bout it all


What do you call two guys sitting in a windowsill?
Kurt and Rod


My dad suggested I register for a donor card. He’s a man after my own heart


What does cheese say when it sees itself in the mirror? Halloumi


Did you hear about the short-sighted circumciser?
He got the sack


What do you call a sketchy Italian neighbourhood?
A Spaghetto


What advice did Notorious B.I.G give to his cows?
Moo money, moo problems


Little Red Riding Hood found in a critical condition. Paramedics have stabilised her condition, but she’s not out of the woods yet.


The funeral for the man who invented Chinese whispers will be held on Monday. Pass it on.


What’s the importance of capitalization? You can either help your Uncle Jack off a horse or help your uncle jack off a horse


What did the blanket say as it fell of the bed?
Oh sheet


My dad always used to say “The sky’s the limit!”
Which is probably why he got fired from his job at NASA


Why did the butcher get dressed up?
He was going to the meatball


I’m going on a blind date tonight. I hope our Labradors get on.

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