As I suspected, someone has been adding soil to my garden..
The plot thickens.

A giraffe walks into a bar and says, “The highballs are on me.”

If a blind woman tells you your penis is big, she’s probably just pulling your leg

Where do pencils go on vacation? Pencilvania

The rotation of earth really makes my day.

What cheese can never be yours? Nacho cheese

What do you call a midget psychic who just escaped from prison? A small medium at large

If you’re here for the yodeling lesson, please form an orderly orderly orderly orderly queue.

If I get interviewed by a police sketch artist, my only goal will be to see how far I get before he realizes I’m making him draw a pirate.

I was ordering birthday cake over phone.
They asked “And what would you like the cake to say?”
I covered phone to ask my wife. “Do we want a talking cake?”

A guy goes to a doctor because he’s got a strawberry growing out of his chest. The doctor looks and examines and finally says, “Let me give you some cream to put on it.”

Did you know that Snoop Dogg’s sister is a stripper?
She wears nothing but a g-string baby

What do you call a sheep with no legs? A cloud

What do you call a pastry with diamonds? A stud muffin

A flashlight is a case for holding dead batteries.

What’s brown and sounds like a bell? Dung!

Did you hear about the man who was accidentally buried alive?
It was a grave mistake.