Why are teddy bears never hungry?
Because they’re stuffed

Who is the best king fu vegetable?
Brocc Lee

My jokes are still in alpha

Hopefully soon they’ll get beta

Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.

The bartender says, “We don’t serve time travellers in here.”
A time traveller walks into a bar.

How Long is a Chinese man’s name.

No, it actually is.

I did a theatrical performance on puns.
It was a play on words.

When a woman says “what!?” it’s not because she didn’t hear you. She’s just giving you a chance to change what you said

Waitress: ‘Do u have any questions about the menu?’ Me: ‘What kind of font is this?’

Whoever invented knock knock jokes should get a no bell prize.

There are plenty of fish in the sea but until you catch one you’re just stuck here holding your rod…

I dreamt I was swimming in an orange ocean last night. It was just a Fanta sea

Can a woman make you a millionaire?
Yes, if you’re a billionaire

Did you hear about the cheese factory that exploded in France? There was nothing left but de Brie.

Why do blondes tip-toe past medicine cabinets?
So they don’t wake up the sleeping pills

Velociraptor = Distance raptor / Time raptor

Someone told me my clothes looked gay..
They did come out of the closet this morning.

I used to be a carpenter until I accidentally sat on my hammer, now I have hammeroids.

I always take life with a grain of salt, …plus a slice of lemon, …and a shot of tequila.

Wanna hear a potassium joke?
K