Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

Where does seaweed look for a job?
in the kelp-wanted ads

What do you call a fish with no eyes?
A fsh

What do you call an Asian man who always has the correct change?
Exact Lee

I had the most amazing orange the other day

It was a class above the zest

Two blondes are facing each other across a wide stream.
One yells to the other, ‘How do you get to the other side?’
The other blonde replies, ‘You are on the other side!’

Broken Guitar for sale.
No strings attached

When a deaf person sees someone yawn do they think it’s a scream?

Where does Buzz Lightyear go furniture shopping at? Bed, Bath, and BEYOND!

I eat my tacos over a Tortilla. That way when stuff falls out, BOOM, another taco.

Why did Barbie never get pregnant?
Because Ken always came in another box.

My cousin drowned. At his funeral we laid a life jacket on his coffin.
It’s what he would have wanted.

I’m pretty sober.
But I’m prettier drunk

How many Emo kids does it take to change a light bulb? None, they all sit in the dark and cry

Marketing companies should use chromosomes in advertisements because sex cells

My dad always told me “Don’t be quick to find faults”.
Good man, terrible geologist.

Is it bad to tell knock knock jokes to homeless people?

There’s no “i” in denial