“Give me a sentence about a public servant” the teacher instructed her second-grade student.
“The fireman came down the ladder pregnant” he answered.
“Umm … Do you know what pregnant means?”
“Yes” said the boy. “It means carrying a child”

I used to date a dyslexic girl. Weird girl. I took her home and she cooked my sock.

Women sometimes make fools of men, but most guys are the do-it-yourself type.

Why shouldn’t you make fun of a paleontologist? Because you will get Jurasskicked.

My wife says I can join your gang but I have to be home by 9.

I was playing Frisbee with my dog in the park today, but it didn’t go well.
I think I need to get a flatter dog.

If you spent your day in a well, can you say your day was well-spent?

How many south Americans does it take to change a light bulb? A Brazilian

A farmer counted 196 cows in the field. But when he rounded them up, he had 200

I love the F5 key. It´s just so refreshing.

My colleague can no longer attend next weeks Innuendo Seminar so I have to fill her slot instead.

How do you count cows? With a cowculater.

I married Miss Right. I just didn’t know her first name was Always.

There was a big paddle sale at the boat store.
It was quite an oar deal.

What do you call a guy with a rabbit up his butt?
Warren

The best way to carve wood is whittle by whittle

What do you call a pastry with diamonds? A stud muffin

I asked the librarian if they had any books on paranoia?
She whispered, “They’re behind you”.

I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn’t find any.

Light travels faster than sound. That’s why some people appear quite bright – until you hear them talk.