A bartender walks into a church, a temple and a mosque. He has no idea how jokes work.

I’m thinking of selling my John Lennon memorabilia on eBay.
Imagine all the PayPal.

A Chinese couple had a black baby and named it SumTing Wong.

If you’re here for the yodeling lesson, please form an orderly orderly orderly orderly queue.

What’s the definition of a will? (It’s a dead giveaway)

They say make up sex is the best…
Which is lucky, because all my sex is made up.

I just read a book about Stockholm syndrome. It was pretty bad at first but by the end I kinda liked it

What do you call a cow that just gave birth?
Decalfeinated.

What do you call a fly with no wings?
A walk

A Roman walks into a bar, sticks two fingers up to the barman and says, “Five beers please.”

A guy goes to a doctor because he’s got a strawberry growing out of his chest. The doctor looks and examines and finally says, “Let me give you some cream to put on it.”

Did you hear about the houses falling in love? It was a lawn-distance relationship.

Build a man a fire, and he’ll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he’ll be warm for the rest of his life.

Someone says to his friend: “I bought a cat” And the other: “You have to be kitten me!”

I didn’t like my beard at first but then it grew on me.

What’s the difference between a joke and a rhetorical question?

Why didn’t the vampire attack Taylor Swift?
She had Bad Blood

Did you hear about the fire at the shoe factory? It was a real tragedy, 100 soles were lost.