Marketing companies should use chromosomes in advertisements because sex cells

Have you heard about the cannibal that passed his brother in the forest?

What do you call a lady with one leg?
Eileen

I was mugged by an acupuncturist yesterday – the mongrel stabbed me 236 times.
Mind you, when I woke up this morning I felt amazing.

Where do pencils go on vacation? Pencilvania

They should make a Minecraft movie, it would be a blockbuster!

I don’t know if I just got hit by freezing rain, but it hurt like hail.

Can a woman make you a millionaire?
Yes, if you’re a billionaire

A baby seal walks into a club.

A hole was found in the wall of a nudist camp. The police are looking into it.

My wife and I always compromise. I admit I’m wrong and she agrees with me.

Yesterday I saw a keyboard with some missing keys. It ended up killing itself because it lacked self-Ctrl.

If towels could tell jokes they would probably have a dry sense of humor.

What is the first thing Santa’s elves have to learn?
The Elfabet

How does a whale defend itself?
With a swordfish

If you’re looking for quality, never buy fireworks from a guy with more than seven fingers.

Wanted to tell you a joke about tv controllers but it’s not even remotely funny

What do you call a man with no arms or legs hanging on the wall?
Art

No matter how much you push the envelope, it’ll still be stationery.

My wife says I can join your gang but I have to be home by 9.