#419
How does a whale defend itself?
With a swordfish
#637
Shhh!
Shhh!
Shhh!
Shhh!
Shhh!
Shhh!
Shhh!
Shhh!
Shhh!
-Librarians arguing
#854
What do ducks wear to weddings? Duxedos
#781
I decided to make my password “incorrect” because if I type it in wrong, my computer will remind me,
“Your password is incorrect.”
#351
How much did it cost for the pirate to get his ears pierced?.
A buccaneer
#246
Two men broke into a drugstore and stole all the Viagra. The police put out an alert to be on the lookout for the two hardened criminals
#884
What was Helen Keller’s favourite colour?
Velcro
#10
I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying
#395
Deja Moo – the feeling that you’ve heard this bull before
#461
I’m pretty sober.
But I’m prettier drunk
#732
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, that’s amore.
When you swim in a creek and an eel bites your cheek, that’s a moray.
#345
Prison may be just one word. But to some, it’s a whole sentence.
#796
My mate just got fired from the mint factory.
His wife went absolutely menthol
#489
In any argument, a wife has the last word. Anything the husband says after that last word is the beginning of a new argument.
#378
I broke my finger last week. On the other hand, I’m okay
#204
Doctor, I feel like a wigwam and a teepee. Trouble is, you’re too tense.
#503
When a deaf person sees someone yawn do they think it’s a scream?
#823
Why did the grandma put wheels on her rocking chair? She liked to rock and roll
#435
I recently got a new Korean mechanic but it’s hard to understand him – he speaks with a Hyundai Accent!
#505
Living on earth may be expensive, but it includes an annual free trip around the sun.