Two dyslexics walk into a bra…

When he proposed to her. She found it very engaging.

Is it bad to tell knock knock jokes to homeless people?

A horse walks into a bar. Several patrons get up and leave as they recognise the potential danger in the situation

How many south Americans does it take to change a light bulb? A Brazilian

What do you call a woman with a toothpick up her butt?
Olive

Woke up on the ground last night, must have fell asleep​.

People who sometimes use the wrong words should have the humidity to admit it.

What’s Michael Jackson’s favourite painting?
Sha-Mona Lisa

I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.
not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.

I broke a can opener. It’s a can’t opener now.

I bought some shoes from a drug dealer. I don’t know what he laced them with, but I’ve been tripping all day.

Two bars walk into a man, LSD is powerful stuff

There are 2 rules for success:
1. Don’t tell all you know.

I had amnesia once – maybe twice.

My deaf girlfriend was talking in her sleep last night. She nearly took my eye out.

What’s orange and sounds like a parrot?
A carrot