Care to seduce a large woman?
Piece of cake!

A joke is like sex. Neither is any good if you don’t get it.

How many Freudians does it take to change a light bulb? Sex.

You know what often gets overlooked? Fences.

Celine Dion walks into a bar. The bartender says, “Those long face jokes are so mean. Let me buy you a drink”

What did the cow say to her calf?
It’s pasture bed time

I lost my licence so I bought a vintage Rolls Royce because I thought it came with a driver. It didn’t. So I spent all that money and I’ve got nothing to chauffeur it.

What do you call a guy with his legs cut off at the knees?
Neil

I had a dream last night that I was a muffler. I woke up exhausted.

Why does a chicken coop have 2 doors?

Because if it had 4 doors it would be called chicken sedan.

PMS jokes aren’t funny. Period.

Not all math puns are bad. Just sum.

What did the blanket say as it fell of the bed?
Oh sheet

Hedgehogs — why can’t they just share the hedge

I am frustrated than a dragon trying to blow out candles.

Got a universal remote for Father’s Day.
This changes everything!

Yesterday I saw a keyboard with some missing keys. It ended up killing itself because it lacked self-Ctrl.

Rick Astley will let you borrow any movie from his Pixar collection, except one. He’s never gonna give you Up

What did the DNA say to the other DNA?

“Do these genes make me look fat?”