If canola oil comes from canola, where does baby oil come from?

How does a whale defend itself?
With a swordfish

A bartender walks into a church, a temple and a mosque. He has no idea how jokes work.

Someone says to his friend: “I bought a cat” And the other: “You have to be kitten me!”

Face is a four letter word. But preface is a foreword letter.

A steak pun is a rare medium well done

What do you call an Asian lady with one leg?
Irene

A hungry traveller stops at a monastery and is taken to the kitchens. A brother is frying chips. ‘Are you the friar?’ he asks. ‘No. I’m the chip monk,’ he replies.

I have only seen people underwhelmed or overwhelmed, never whelmed properly.

LSD causes users to lose weight. Obviously you can’t eat when a dragon is guarding the fridge

The thing about dwarfs and midgets is that they have very little in common

A Chinese kid was born before the due date.
Parents named him Sudden Lee.

Last night me and my wife watched three DVDs back to back. Luckily I was the one facing the TV.

My wife and I always compromise. I admit I’m wrong and she agrees with me.

My therapist says I have a preoccupation with vengeance. We’ll see about that.

My son wanted to know what it’s like to be married. I told him to leave me alone and when he did I asked him why he was ignoring me.

I love the F5 key. It´s just so refreshing.

I got a photo with R.E.M
That’s me in the corner

When does a sandwich cook?
When it’s bakin lettuce and tomato