They should make a Minecraft movie, it would be a blockbuster!

My tailor is happy to make a pair of pants for me, or at least sew it seams.

Why do blonde girls walk in groups of odd numbers? Because they can’t even!

Which dinosaur knew the most words?
The thesaurus.

A donkey fell into a bowl of sugar. Now that’s a sweet ass!!

You know what often gets overlooked? Fences.

I would give my right arm to be ambidextrous!

Did you hear about the butcher who backed up into the meat grinder? He got a little behind in his work.

What do you call a wandering caveman? A meanderthal.

The funeral for the man who invented Chinese whispers will be held on Monday. Pass it on.

My deaf girlfriend was talking in her sleep last night. She nearly took my eye out.

Marketing companies should use chromosomes in advertisements because sex cells

How did the farmer find his wife?

He tractor down.

I’ve accidentally swallowed some Scrabble tiles. My next crap could spell disaster.

My friend just got a job at the zoo, circumcising elephants. The pay isn’t great but he gets huge tips.

I would lose weight, but I hate losing.

So this guy with a premature ejaculation problem comes out of nowhere

Why didn’t the vampire attack Taylor Swift?
She had Bad Blood

Apparently I snore so loudly that it scares everyone in the car I’m driving

I heard there was a new store called Moderation. They have everything there