An SEO guy walks into a bar, pub, inn, tavern, hotel, public house, brew house, beer hall, bodega, izakaya

A termite walks into a bar and says “where’s the bar tender”

What did the hat say to the hat rack?
You stay here I’m going on a head

Red meat is not bad for you. Fuzzy green meat is bad for you.

I used to be in a band, we were called ‘lost dog’. You probably saw our posters.

What do squirrels give for Valentine’s Day? Forget-me-nuts.

What do you call an alligator wearing a vest? An investigator.

The Man Who Created Autocorrect Has Died. Resturant In Peace.

A blind man walks into a bar. And a table. And a chair.

What did the bra say to the hat?
You go on a head I’m gonna give these two a lift

There was a big paddle sale at the boat store.
It was quite an oar deal.

Yo mamma is so fat that when she sat on a laptop, the hardware turned into software!

I never wanted to believe that my Dad was stealing from his job as a road worker. But when I got home, all the signs were there.

What is Bruce Lee’s favourite drink? Wataaaaahh!

You can’t run through a camping ground. You can only ran, because it’s past tents

I called the cops about a murder on my front lawn.
They said they couldn’t do anything about crows and to stop calling them.

Sometimes I tuck my knees into my chest and lean forward. That’s just how I roll.

I lost my job at the bank on my very first day. A woman asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her over.

People who sometimes use the wrong words should have the humidity to admit it.