#91
What’s long and hard and has cum in it?
A cucumber
What’s long and hard and has cum in it?
A cucumber
If iron man and the silver surfer team up, they’ll be alloys
A man who loves Sherlock Holmes novels and puns names his dog Furlock. One day, he takes his dog out to town with him and stops in a little boutique. He brings his dog in with him and tries on a shirt. To his dismay, it isnโt the right size. He looks at his dog and says โNo fit, Furlock.โ
How many kids with ADHD does it take to change a light bulb?
Letโs go play on our bikes
What do you call a guy with a car on his head?
Jack
I was hooked on auctions after only going once… going twice.
The invisible man and invisible woman had children… they weren’t much to look at
What do you call a king’s fart?
Noble gas.
I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn’t find any.
Build a man a fire, and he’ll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he’ll be warm for the rest of his life.
Impotence: Nature’s way of saying “No hard feelings”.
About a month before he died, my uncle had his back covered in lard. After that, he went down hill fast.
Two cannibals are eating a clown. One cannibal turns to the other and asks, “This taste funny to you?”
Why did the mobile phone need glasses?
It lost all its contacts
Why did the butcher get dressed up?
He was going to the meatball
What’s it like being in a vacuum cleaner? It sucks
Why do blondes tip-toe past medicine cabinets?
So they don’t wake up the sleeping pills
As I said before, I never repeat myself.
I may not be getting lucky tonight, but I’m definitely banging my snooze button in the morning.
I’ve recently quit my job as a butler.
I refuse to be ordered around in that manor.