#357
The year 2020 is going to be filled with so many puns about perfect vision
I can just see it now.
#139
I told my wife she drew her eyebrows on too high. She looked surprised.
#106
My mate had a terrible accident at work. He fell into an industrial grinder. He’s fine now.
#88
I threw an Asian man down a flight of stairs. It was Wong on so many levels.
#286
Pick up line: “Are you a beaver because damn!”
#421
There are 2 rules for success:
1. Don’t tell all you know.
#595
My girlfriend and I often laugh about how competitive we are. But I laugh more.
#126
I joined a dyslexic poetry club. At our first meeting I made a vase and an ashtray.
#159
How many Freudians does it take to change a light bulb? Sex.
#747
Claustrophobic people are more productive thinking out of the box.
#333
My wife just broke up with me for talking about video games too much, what a stupid thing to Fallout 4
#437
I got banned from a secret cooking society for spilling the beans
#2
What’s the internal temperature of a Tauntaun?
Luke warm
#180
A Russian spy, a sexual predator, and a billionaire walk into a bar. The bartender says, “What can I get you, Mr. President?”
#256
Why did Humpty Dumpty push his girlfriend off the wall? So he could see her crack!
#390
Why was the thermometer smarter than the graduated cylinder?
He had more degrees
#67
What has four letters
#172
Which dinosaur knew the most words?
The thesaurus.
#141
I just found out that the guy who stole my private diary has died.
My thoughts are with his family.
#265
What do you call a midget psychic who just escaped from prison? A small medium at large