#609

I did a theatrical performance on puns.
It was a play on words.

#75

I saw a bishop the other day. Wondered why he wasn’t walking diagonally

#765

I have only seen people underwhelmed or overwhelmed, never whelmed properly.

#546

If we get rid of all the margarine the world will be a butter place.

#115

There’s a new shaver designed for dyslexics.
It’s the best thing since sliced beard.

#820

What did the cleaner say as he jumped out of the closet?
SUPPLIES!

#430

Whenever I pass someone texting and driving, I throw my beer at their window

#890

What do you call a snobbish prisoner going down the stairs?
A condescending con descending

#742

Someone says to his friend: “I bought a cat” And the other: “You have to be kitten me!”

#70

Two goldfish are in a tank. One says to the other, “do you know how to drive this thing?”

#685

“I stand corrected,” said the man in the orthopedic shoes.

#281

I met a one-legged woman outside of a club the other day. She was a bouncer.

#496

I bought some shoes from a drug dealer. I don’t know what he laced them with, but I’ve been tripping all day.

#320

Hedgehogs β€” why can’t they just share the hedge

#133

Today I saw a golf buggy parked in a disabled bay and thought to myself, “I wonder what his handicap is?”

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