#284
When life gives you melons, youโre probably dyslexic.
When life gives you melons, youโre probably dyslexic.
“Children are like a sponge at this age,” I said as I used my neighbour’s toddler to wipe up my beer that he spilled.
I can hear music coming out of my printer.
I think the paper’s jammin’ again.
I’m hosting a charity event tonight to raise money for people unable to orgasm. Don’t worry if you can’t come.
I can cut down a tree just by looking at it. Itโs true. I saw it with my own eyes
I only trust people who like big butts. They cannot lie.
Don’t trust atoms. They make up everything.
I saw a bishop the other day. Wondered why he wasn’t walking diagonally
Arguing with my wife is like reading the software licencing agreement. In the end, you ignore everything and click “I agree”.
How did the farmer find his wife?
He tractor down.
Did you hear about the cheese factory that exploded in France? There was nothing left but de Brie.
Two soldiers are in a tank.
One looks at the other and says “BLUBLUBBLUBLUBBLUB”
Face is a four letter word. But preface is a foreword letter.
A guy just threw milk at me… How dairy?!
If towels could tell jokes they would probably have a dry sense of humor.
A farmer counted 196 cows in the field. But when he rounded them up, he had 200
What do you call the security outside of a Samsung Store?
Guardians of the Galaxy.
What do you call a bee that lives in America? A USB
The Man Who Created Autocorrect Has Died. Resturant In Peace.
What’s the difference between a well dressed man on a bike and a poorly dressed man on a unicycle?
Attire