#236

“Jesus loves you.”

A nice gesture in church.

A horrific thing to hear in a Mexican prison.

#198

Puts the car into reverse.
“Ah, this takes me back”

#888

I miss my umbilical cord. Must have grown attached to it

#222

The police came to my house and asked where I was between 3 and 5 . I told them pre school.

#35

Have you heard about the restaurant on the moon?
Great food, no atmosphere.

#797

My dad always used to say โ€œThe skyโ€™s the limit!โ€
Which is probably why he got fired from his job at NASA

#520

What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus? Claustrophobic

#248

What do you call an alligator wearing a vest? An investigator.

#398

What’s the difference between a dirty bus stop and a lobster with breast implants?

One’s a crusty bus station and the other a busty crustacean

#161

What do you call an artist with a brown finger? Picassole

#202

A termite walks into a bar and says “where’s the bar tender”

#114

Our cat coughed up furballs all over the carpet. I wouldn’t mind but Furballs was our hamster.

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