I did a theatrical performance on puns.
It was a play on words.

I called the vet to complain about a bill. He just put the phone down. As quickly and humanely as possible.

Living on earth may be expensive, but it includes an annual free trip around the sun.

Laughing stock: cattle with a sense of humour.

3 people having sex is a threesome, 2 is a twosome. So next time someone calls you ‘handsome’, don’t take it as a compliment!

Two bars walk into a man, LSD is powerful stuff

What do you call a three-legged donkey? A wonkey.

Why did the snowman smile?
Because the snowblower was coming

Why can’t you take inventory in Afghanistan?
Because of the tally ban

The first rule of Alzheimer’s club, is don’t talk about chess club

When you have a bladder infection, urine trouble

I wasn’t particularly close to my dad before he died…
Which was lucky, because he trod on a landmine.

I wasn’t happy with my sons school report. He said okay. I said I want more A’s. He said okaaaaaaaay

My friend just got a job at the zoo, circumcising elephants. The pay isn’t great but he gets huge tips.

Let’s hope the new Jurassic world movie isn’t a train Rex of a film.

When he proposed to her. She found it very engaging.

How do Mexicans stay warm in winter? Fajitas

Currently the flower business is blooming.