When I get naked in the bathroom, the shower usually gets turned on.

What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta

How does the solar system hold up its trousers? With an asteroid belt

When I was a child my father attacked me with cameras.
I still have flashbacks

I threw an Asian man down a flight of stairs. It was Wong on so many levels.

I’ve accidentally swallowed some Scrabble tiles. My next crap could spell disaster.

What do pimps and farmers have in common? They both need a hoe to stay in business

If two vegans have an argument is it still beef?

Did you know that Snoop Dogg’s sister is a stripper?
She wears nothing but a g-string baby

I went to a zoo in China last month, all they had in it was a small fluffy dog.
It was a Shitzu.

Face is a four letter word. But preface is a foreword letter.

How Long is a Chinese man’s name.

No, it actually is.

I’m not passive aggressive. Unlike some people.

People are making end of the world jokes like there is no tomorrow.

Whoever invented knock knock jokes should get a no bell prize.

Whenever I pass someone texting and driving, I throw my beer at their window

Someone told me my clothes looked gay..
They did come out of the closet this morning.

What kind of currency do chickens use? Bock bucks