What does Kim Kardashian use to fix holes?

Sex tape

Did you know that Snoop Dogg’s sister is a stripper?
She wears nothing but a g-string baby

A friend of mine tried to annoy me with bird puns, but I soon realized that toucan play at that game.

Thanks for explaining the word “many” to me, it means a lot

What did the DNA say to the other DNA?

“Do these genes make me look fat?”

I’m thinking of selling my John Lennon memorabilia on eBay.
Imagine all the PayPal.

What do you call a guy with a rabbit up his butt?
Warren

I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn’t find any.

Why did the old man fall in the well? Because he couldn’t see that well.

You heard of that new band 1023MB? They’re good but they haven’t got a gig yet.

My wife’s mad because I paid for my dope out of our joint account. I thought that was why we had it.

I don’t mind kids playing hopscotch in most places, but my driveway is where I draw the line.

What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?
One’s really heavy and the other is a little lighter

What’s the advantage of living in Switzerland? Well the flag is a big plus

A donkey fell into a bowl of sugar. Now that’s a sweet ass!!

I was mugged by an acupuncturist yesterday – the mongrel stabbed me 236 times.
Mind you, when I woke up this morning I felt amazing.

I don’t know if I just got hit by freezing rain, but it hurt like hail.

Currently the flower business is blooming.