#8
I heard there was a new store called Moderation. They have everything there
#40
What do you call a woman with no legs? Nolene
#165
A hungry traveller stops at a monastery and is taken to the kitchens. A brother is frying chips. ‘Are you the friar?’ he asks. ‘No. I’m the chip monk,’ he replies.
#777
I lost my mood ring and I don’t know how to feel about it
#656
PMS should just be called ovary-acting
#663
How do you kill a circus?
Go for the juggler
#343
As I suspected, someone has been adding soil to my garden..
The plot thickens.
#379
Shout out to my grandma…
That’s the only way she can hear
#391
Someone told me my clothes looked gay..
They did come out of the closet this morning.
#781
I decided to make my password “incorrect” because if I type it in wrong, my computer will remind me,
“Your password is incorrect.”
#882
I got a photo with R.E.M
That’s me in the corner
#383
How many south Americans does it take to change a light bulb? A Brazilian
#68
My wife told me she was leaving me because I keep pretending to be a Transformer.
I said “No wait, I can change!”
#51
An English man, an Irish man and an Italian walk into a bar. The bartender says “is this a joke?”
#548
What did the DNA say to the other DNA?
“Do these genes make me look fat?”
#49
An SEO guy walks into a bar, pub, inn, tavern, hotel, public house, brew house, beer hall, bodega, izakaya
#706
What part of a vegetable do cannibals struggle to eat?
The wheelchair
#535
How is cat food sold?
Purr can
#740
A flashlight is a case for holding dead batteries.
#668
I am frustrated than a dragon trying to blow out candles.