#655
How many kids with ADHD does it take to change a light bulb?
Letโs go play on our bikes
How many kids with ADHD does it take to change a light bulb?
Letโs go play on our bikes
Age is just the number of hours I’m hungover for.
I just saw a sign that made me wet myself.
It said “Bathroom Closed”.
I asked my wife for “something Cuban” for my birthday, and she got me a Che Guevara shirt.
Clothes, but no cigar.
Working in a mirror factory is something I can totally see myself doing
what is a pirates favorite letter?
It be the C
When life gives you melons, youโre probably dyslexic.
My wife says I can join your gang but I have to be home by 9.
It’s better to have a bottle in front of me, than a frontal lobotomy.
What’s the leading cause of dry skin? Towels
Good news for all you narcoleptics. Only 300 sleeps till Christmas!
Can a woman make you a millionaire?
Yes, if you’re a billionaire
The soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray was a seasoned veteran
My wife finally got a “Brazilian”. He seems nice.
My first day on the job at an IKEA store, I was told by my boss that employees needed to go to the meeting room before every shift. I asked why. He said, “Assembly required.”
What does it take to make an octopus laugh?
Ten tickles
Don’t you hate it when someone answers their own questions? I do.