#522

What’s the worst thing about ancient history class?
The teachers tend to Babylon

#702

What do you call it when Batman skips church? Christian Bale.

#754

Someone threw a bottle of Omega-3 pills at me. Luckily, my injuries were only super fish oil.

#500

Waitress: ‘Do u have any questions about the menu?’ Me: ‘What kind of font is this?’

#678

My dad always told me โ€œDonโ€™t be quick to find faultsโ€.
Good man, terrible geologist.

#590

I have a fear of speed bumps, but I’m slowly getting over it

#672

If canola oil comes from canola, where does baby oil come from?

#222

The police came to my house and asked where I was between 3 and 5 . I told them pre school.

#206

Is it bad to tell knock knock jokes to homeless people?

#412

Why did the mobile phone need glasses?
It lost all its contacts

#632

If you’re looking for quality, never buy fireworks from a guy with more than seven fingers.

#440

I was lonely so I bought some shares. It’s nice to have a bit of company

#259

I’ve accidentally swallowed some Scrabble tiles. My next crap could spell disaster.

#723

My neighbour is a stripper and a coeliac which is tough because she can only jump out of certain cakes.

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