Why was the computer late for work?
He had a slow, hard drive


Why did the pig stop sunbathing? He was bacon in the heat


The Energizer bunny ended up in jail.
He was charged with battery


I met my wife at an Arthritis support meeting.
You know when two people just click.


The seven dwarfs were in the bath feeling happy so he got out.


Are they chopsticks in your pocket are you just happy sashimi?


What’s the difference between a golfer and a skydiver? A golfer goes *whack* “damn” and a skydiver goes “damn” *whack*


Why did the chicken go to a sรฉance? To communicate with the other side


It’s been 2 days since I’ve had McDonald’s, I’m getting the shakes… and the fries.


My wife is complaining that I never buy her jewellery. To be fair, I didn’t even know she sold jewellery.


I just read a book about Stockholm syndrome. It was pretty bad at first but by the end I kinda liked it


Did you hear about the man who was accidentally buried alive?
It was a grave mistake.

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