#549

Why was the computer late for work?
He had a slow, hard drive

#175

Why did the pig stop sunbathing? He was bacon in the heat

#620

The Energizer bunny ended up in jail.
He was charged with battery

#138

I met my wife at an Arthritis support meeting.
You know when two people just click.

#370

The seven dwarfs were in the bath feeling happy so he got out.

#840

Are they chopsticks in your pocket are you just happy sashimi?

#689

What’s the difference between a golfer and a skydiver? A golfer goes *whack* “damn” and a skydiver goes “damn” *whack*

#560

Why did the chicken go to a sรฉance? To communicate with the other side

#277

It’s been 2 days since I’ve had McDonald’s, I’m getting the shakes… and the fries.

#136

My wife is complaining that I never buy her jewellery. To be fair, I didn’t even know she sold jewellery.

#660

I just read a book about Stockholm syndrome. It was pretty bad at first but by the end I kinda liked it

#734

Did you hear about the man who was accidentally buried alive?
It was a grave mistake.

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