Tennis players grunt too much when they play.
There’s no need for all that racquet

Doing things that you are not supposed to do at work makes your vision, hearing and alertness much better.

Why are teddy bears never hungry?
Because they’re stuffed

How do Mexicans stay warm in winter? Fajitas

It’s Jamaican hair style day at work tomorrow. I’m already dreading it.

I just found out I’m colorblind. The diagnosis came completely out of the purple.

What do squirrels give for Valentine’s Day? Forget-me-nuts.

What do bees do with their honey? They cell it.

What do you call somebody with body and just a nose? Nobody nose!

I wasn’t particularly close to my dad before he died…
Which was lucky, because he trod on a landmine.

What do PCs and air conditioners have in common?
They both become useless when you open windows

Just got sacked from my job as a dishwasher. I kept putting the plates and bowls in the wrong order. The boss reckons I am dishlexic.

Hung a picture up on the wall the other day. Nailed it.

It’d be frustrating if you seriously couldn’t find your friend Marco at a crowded swimming pool.

Best Summer Vacation Book Never Written: “Where to Stay on Vacation” by Moe Tell.

Who is the best king fu vegetable?
Brocc Lee

What’s got four legs and one arm? A Rottweiler.

i thought i got a type a in blood test but it was actually a typ-o

I’m close friends with 25 letters of the alphabet, I don’t know y

Puts the car into reverse.
“Ah, this takes me back”