For a short while, my uncle was a world famous chainsaw juggler. But not for being good at it. I miss uncle Stump.

Who is the best king fu vegetable?
Brocc Lee

I’m trying to write jokes about unemployed people, but they need more work

Just got sacked from my job as a dishwasher. I kept putting the plates and bowls in the wrong order. The boss reckons I am dishlexic.

A dyslexic devil worshipper sold his soul to Santa

I did a theatrical performance on puns.
It was a play on words.

It’s been 2 days since I’ve had McDonald’s, I’m getting the shakes… and the fries.

White boards are remarkable

How many south Americans does it take to change a light bulb? A Brazilian

Did you hear about the butcher who backed up into the meat grinder? He got a little behind in his work.

How did Darth Vader know what Luke got him for Christmas?
He felt his presents

Police are looking for a guy who threatens his victims with a lit match.
They need to catch him before he strikes again

The rotation of earth really makes my day.

Why does the alcoholic Avon lady walk funny? Because her lips stick.

When Jay-Z got engaged, did he call her his Feyonce?

My wife said that if I don’t get off my computer and do the dishes she’ll slam my head on the keyboard, but I think she’s jokinfjreoiwjrtwe4to8rkljreun8f4ny84c8y4t58lym4wthylmhawt4mylt4amlathnatyn

What do you call a snobbish prisoner going down the stairs?
A condescending con descending