How does the solar system hold up its trousers? With an asteroid belt

I’ve been reading a book about anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down

Why don’t the melons get married? Because they cantaloupe

What do a nearsighted gynecologist and a puppy have in common? A wet nose.

What did the buffalo say to his son? Bison

Have you heard about the cannibal that passed his brother in the forest?

I’m addicted to brake fluid but I can stop whenever I want

What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta

I hate gravity, it always gets me down

Working in a mirror factory is something I can totally see myself doing

I should have been sad when my flashlight batteries died, but I was delighted.

Our cat was just sick on the carpet. I don’t think its feline well.

You’re not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.

What do you call a midget psychic who just escaped from prison? A small medium at large