#138

I met my wife at an Arthritis support meeting.
You know when two people just click.

#513

I thought I understood the meaning of “When Pigs Fly” but then… the swine flu.

#118

I’m thinking of selling my John Lennon memorabilia on eBay.
Imagine all the PayPal.

#154

I have a fear of speed bumps. Im slowly getting over it

#707

I poured root beer into a square glass.
Now I just have beer

#471

What do a nearsighted gynecologist and a puppy have in common? A wet nose.

#464

I got called pretty yesterday and it felt good!

Actually, the full sentence was “you’re pretty annoying” but I’m choosing to focus on the positive

#799

Dad: Son, I don’t think you’re cut out to be a mime artist
Son: Was it something I said?
Dad: Yes

#55

What do PCs and air conditioners have in common?
They both become useless when you open windows

#765

I have only seen people underwhelmed or overwhelmed, never whelmed properly.

#223

My kids have been throwing Scrabble tiles at each other again.

it’s all fun and games until someone loses an i.

#538

Blonde: “What does IDK mean?”

Brunette: “I don’t know.”

Blonde: “OMG, nobody does!”

#633

For a short while, my uncle was a world famous chainsaw juggler. But not for being good at it. I miss uncle Stump.

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