#654
He’s street smart. Sesame Street smart.
He’s street smart. Sesame Street smart.
When I was a child my father attacked me with cameras.
I still have flashbacks
I’m hosting a marathon for people with chronic diarrhea. It’s a run for the runs
I met my wife at an Arthritis support meeting.
You know when two people just click.
My wife asked me to join her for yoga class. I said “Namaste home”
I thought I had a Japanese friend, but it was just my imagine asian
My wife hates Oasis and asked me to stop singing Wonderwall.
I said maybe
A Chinese couple had a black baby and named it SumTing Wong.
You know mountains arenβt just funny, they are hill areas
Light travels faster than sound. That’s why some people appear quite bright β until you hear them talk.
Why should you never trust a train?
They have loco motives
Rick Astley will let you borrow any movie from his Pixar collection, except one. He’s never gonna give you Up
What do you call a guy with his legs cut off at the knees?
Neil
Why dont blind people skydive? Because it scares the crap out of their dogs.
Why do you never see elephants hiding in trees?
Because they’re so good at it!
My wife broke up with me because of my gambling. All I can think of is how to win her back.
What do you call a guy with a car on his head?
Jack
Shhh!
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Shhh!
-Librarians arguing
The thing about dwarfs and midgets is that they have very little in common
How do fish get high?
Seaweed