#588

When I was a child my father attacked me with cameras.
I still have flashbacks

#442

I’m hosting a marathon for people with chronic diarrhea. It’s a run for the runs

#138

I met my wife at an Arthritis support meeting.
You know when two people just click.

#555

My wife asked me to join her for yoga class. I said “Namaste home”

#208

I thought I had a Japanese friend, but it was just my imagine asian

#785

My wife hates Oasis and asked me to stop singing Wonderwall.
I said maybe

#432

A Chinese couple had a black baby and named it SumTing Wong.

#750

You know mountains aren’t just funny, they are hill areas

#402

Light travels faster than sound. That’s why some people appear quite bright – until you hear them talk.

#626

Why should you never trust a train?
They have loco motives

#695

Rick Astley will let you borrow any movie from his Pixar collection, except one. He’s never gonna give you Up

#45

What do you call a guy with his legs cut off at the knees?
Neil

#350

Why dont blind people skydive? Because it scares the crap out of their dogs.

#48

Why do you never see elephants hiding in trees?
Because they’re so good at it!

#111

My wife broke up with me because of my gambling. All I can think of is how to win her back.

#637

Shhh!
Shhh!
Shhh!
Shhh!
Shhh!
Shhh!
Shhh!
Shhh!
Shhh!
-Librarians arguing

#59

The thing about dwarfs and midgets is that they have very little in common

Back to top