There’s a fine line between a numerator and a denominator.

Only a fraction of people will find this funny.

Some people appreciate these kinds of jokes and some don’t – the division is clear.

Rick Astley will let you borrow any movie from his Pixar collection, except one. He’s never gonna give you Up

I had an argument with one of the seven dwarfs. He wasn’t happy

I eat my tacos over a Tortilla. That way when stuff falls out, BOOM, another taco.

I love the F5 key. It´s just so refreshing.

I just watched a program about beavers. It was the best dam program I’ve ever seen.

What do dinosaurs pay their bills with?
Tyrannosaurus Cheques

What did the sushi say to the bee?
Wasabi

I’ve been reading a book about anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down

I used to have a job at a calendar factory but I got the sack because I took a couple of days off

A hole was found in the wall of a nudist camp. The police are looking into it.

A hungry traveller stops at a monastery and is taken to the kitchens. A brother is frying chips. ‘Are you the friar?’ he asks. ‘No. I’m the chip monk,’ he replies.

If pronouncing my b’s as v’s makes me sound Russian, then soviet.

Times New Roman walks into a bar. The barman says “Get out of here! We don’t serve your type.”

Celine Dion walks into a bar. The bartender says, “Those long face jokes are so mean. Let me buy you a drink”

I’ve just found out one of my mates works as a mime artist. He’s kept that quiet.

What do you call an Amish guy with his hand up a horse’s butt?
A mechanic!

It’d be frustrating if you seriously couldn’t find your friend Marco at a crowded swimming pool.

As I said before, I never repeat myself.