#515
My annual performance review says I lack “passion & intensity”, guess management hasn’t seen me alone with a Big Mac.
My annual performance review says I lack “passion & intensity”, guess management hasn’t seen me alone with a Big Mac.
Why was the computer late for work?
He had a slow, hard drive
What’s the difference between a well dressed man on a bike and a poorly dressed man on a unicycle?
Attire
Why should you never trust a train?
They have loco motives
There was a snake crossing a highway and a truck ran over its ass. The snake went back to get its ass and a truck ran over its head. The moral of the story is, “Don’t lose your head over a piece of ass.”
What do you call a wolf that knows whatโs going on?
Awarewolf
A friend of mine tried to annoy me with bird puns, but I soon realized that toucan play at that game.
A woman goes into a bar and asks for a “double entendre”. So the bartender gave her one.
What do you call a belt with a watch on it?
A waist of time
Counting in binary is as easy as 01 10 11
Nobody’s perfect. I’m a nobody.
Two bars walk into a man, LSD is powerful stuff
When are holes beautiful? When they’re gorges.
Just found the worst page in the entire dictionary. What I saw was disgraceful, disgusting, dishonest, and disingenuous.
How do Mexicans stay warm in winter? Fajitas
My wife broke up with me because of my gambling. All I can think of is how to win her back.
What do you call someone who sells their body for a bowl of spaghetti? A pastatute!
Why does the alcoholic Avon lady walk funny? Because her lips stick.
Why canโt you take inventory in Afghanistan?
Because of the tally ban
What’s the difference between a joke and a rhetorical question?