#54

I like European food so I decided to Russia over there because I was Hungary. After Czech’ing the menu I ordered Turkey. When I was Finnished I told the waiter ‘Spain good but there is Norway I could eat another bite’.

#196

Atheists don’t solve exponential equations because they don’t believe in higher powers.

#205

I’m trying to write jokes about unemployed people, but they need more work

#206

Is it bad to tell knock knock jokes to homeless people?

#424

If procrastionation was an Olympic sport, I’d compete in it later.

#349

Did you hear about the cheese factory that exploded in France? There was nothing left but de Brie.

#808

My friend has been a limo driver for 25 years and has never had a customer.
All that time and nothing to chauffeur it

#204

Doctor, I feel like a wigwam and a teepee. Trouble is, you’re too tense.

#504

A woman’s mind is cleaner than a man’s: She changes it more often.

#144

I was in a bar when a waitress shouted “ANYONE KNOW CPR?”
I said “I know the whole alphabet!”.
Everyone laughed, except this one guy.

#850

Nothing makes me more suspicious than an unsolicited compliment.

#807

If Tinkerbell had a Mexican sister what would her name be?
Taco Bell

#45

What do you call a guy with his legs cut off at the knees?
Neil

#839

The other day, my wife asked me to pass her lipstick but I accidentally passed her a glue stick. She still isn’t talking to me.

#421

There are 2 rules for success:
1. Don’t tell all you know.

#345

Prison may be just one word. But to some, it’s a whole sentence.

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