How do crazy people go through the forest? They take the physco path.


Claustrophobic people are more productive thinking out of the box.


I joined a dyslexic poetry club. At our first meeting I made a vase and an ashtray.


My dad used to say “Always fight fire with fire.” Probably explains why he was thrown out of the fire brigade


I got banned from a secret cooking society for spilling the beans


I used to have a job at a calendar factory but I got the sack because I took a couple of days off


Thanks for explaining the word “many” to me, it means a lot


What do you call a snake that is 3.14 metres long?
A pi-thon


My speech today will be like a mini-skirt. Long enough to cover the essentials but short enough to hold your attention!


It’s better to have a bottle in front of me, than a frontal lobotomy.


In any argument, a wife has the last word. Anything the husband says after that last word is the beginning of a new argument.


What is the difference between snowmen and snowwomen? Snowballs.


I told my wife I was going to make a bike out of spaghetti. She couldn’t believe it when I rode pasta.


Why was the thermometer smarter than the graduated cylinder?
He had more degrees


Working in a mirror factory is something I can totally see myself doing


For a short while, my uncle was a world famous chainsaw juggler. But not for being good at it. I miss uncle Stump.


How many Freudians does it take to change a light bulb? Sex.

Back to top