#499

Why did the old man fall in the well? Because he couldn’t see that well.

#229

Just got sacked from my job as a dishwasher. I kept putting the plates and bowls in the wrong order. The boss reckons I am dishlexic.

#780

Whats the difference between the Christmas alphabet and the ordinary alphabet?
The Christmas alphabet has Noel.

#463

The hardness of butter is directly proportional to the softness of the bread.

#713

My wife said “Go to the store and buy a loaf of bread. If they have eggs, buy a dozen.”
So I returned with 12 loaves of bread

#479

Doesn’t expecting the unexpected make the unexpected become the expected?

#161

What do you call an artist with a brown finger? Picassole

#636

This weight loss website wants me to accept cookies. Hmm…

#37

There are three kinds of people: Those who can count and those who can’t.

#208

I thought I had a Japanese friend, but it was just my imagine asian

#795

Why did the butcher get dressed up?
He was going to the meatball

#658

I may not be getting lucky tonight, but I’m definitely banging my snooze button in the morning.

#650

Where does seaweed look for a job?
in the kelp-wanted ads

#662

Santa’s elves are just a bunch of subordinate Clauses.

#425

One day you’re the next best thing to sliced bread.
The next, you’re toast.

#456

My boss told me I intimidate my coworkers so I just stared at him until he apologised

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