Why did the old man fall in the well? Because he couldn’t see that well.


Just got sacked from my job as a dishwasher. I kept putting the plates and bowls in the wrong order. The boss reckons I am dishlexic.


Whats the difference between the Christmas alphabet and the ordinary alphabet?
The Christmas alphabet has Noel.


The hardness of butter is directly proportional to the softness of the bread.


My wife said “Go to the store and buy a loaf of bread. If they have eggs, buy a dozen.”
So I returned with 12 loaves of bread


Doesn’t expecting the unexpected make the unexpected become the expected?


What do you call an artist with a brown finger? Picassole


This weight loss website wants me to accept cookies. Hmm…


There are three kinds of people: Those who can count and those who can’t.


I thought I had a Japanese friend, but it was just my imagine asian


Why did the butcher get dressed up?
He was going to the meatball


I may not be getting lucky tonight, but I’m definitely banging my snooze button in the morning.


Where does seaweed look for a job?
in the kelp-wanted ads


Santa’s elves are just a bunch of subordinate Clauses.


One day you’re the next best thing to sliced bread.
The next, you’re toast.


My boss told me I intimidate my coworkers so I just stared at him until he apologised

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