#828

Did you know that one of the Knights of the Round Table collected taxes?
His name was Sir Charge

#786

Interviewer asked me if I’d make a good waiter.
Let’s just say I can bring a lot to the table

#435

I recently got a new Korean mechanic but it’s hard to understand him – he speaks with a Hyundai Accent!

#635

People who sometimes use the wrong words should have the humidity to admit it.

#229

Just got sacked from my job as a dishwasher. I kept putting the plates and bowls in the wrong order. The boss reckons I am dishlexic.

#410

What do you call an Asian man who always has the correct change?
Exact Lee

#113

I got a sext from a redhead: “I’m all alone. Come over. Bring protection.” I took SPF50.

#11

A handicapped guy stole my wallet.
He can hide but he can’t run

#604

I quit my job at the helium gas factory, I refuse to be talked to in that tone of voice!

#813

What do ballerinas take for transportation?
A tutu train

#712

What do squirrels give for Valentine’s Day? Forget-me-nuts.

#807

If Tinkerbell had a Mexican sister what would her name be?
Taco Bell

#118

I’m thinking of selling my John Lennon memorabilia on eBay.
Imagine all the PayPal.

#103

My ex-wife has lessons with the devil on how to be more evil. I don’t know what she charges him.

#105

If you’re here for the yodeling lesson, please form an orderly orderly orderly orderly queue.

#891

Why do chemists like nitrates so much?
They’re cheaper than day rates.

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