A donkey fell into a bowl of sugar. Now that’s a sweet ass!!


There are so many scams on the Internet these days…. but for $19.95 I can show you how to avoid them.


I bought my friend an elephant for their room.

They said “thank you”

I said “Don’t mention it”


My mate had a terrible accident a while ago. He fell into an Upholstering Machine.

He’s fully recovered now though.


Someone stole my toilet and the police have nothing to go on.


What did the blanket say as it fell of the bed?
Oh sheet


The soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray was a seasoned veteran


Got a new job as a hostage negotiator. Tried to ring in sick but they talked me out of it.


I was walking my dog through the cemetery when I saw a guy crouching behind a gravestone.
I said “Morningโ€. He said, “No, just having a sh**”.


What do you call a man with no arms or legs hanging on the wall?


Have you ever tried eating a clock? It’s time consuming


There’s a new shaver designed for dyslexics.
It’s the best thing since sliced beard.


A bear walked into a bar and says, “I’ll have a beer……and some of those peanuts.” The bartender says, “Why the big pause?”


What do you call a sketchy Italian neighbourhood?
A Spaghetto

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