#828
Did you know that one of the Knights of the Round Table collected taxes?
His name was Sir Charge
#786
Interviewer asked me if I’d make a good waiter.
Let’s just say I can bring a lot to the table
#435
I recently got a new Korean mechanic but it’s hard to understand him – he speaks with a Hyundai Accent!
#635
People who sometimes use the wrong words should have the humidity to admit it.
#229
Just got sacked from my job as a dishwasher. I kept putting the plates and bowls in the wrong order. The boss reckons I am dishlexic.
#410
What do you call an Asian man who always has the correct change?
Exact Lee
#591
What did the tree say to autumn? Leaf me alone.
#716
When he proposed to her. She found it very engaging.
#113
I got a sext from a redhead: “I’m all alone. Come over. Bring protection.” I took SPF50.
#11
A handicapped guy stole my wallet.
He can hide but he can’t run
#604
I quit my job at the helium gas factory, I refuse to be talked to in that tone of voice!
#733
You kill vegetarian vampires with a steak to the heart
#813
What do ballerinas take for transportation?
A tutu train
#712
What do squirrels give for Valentine’s Day? Forget-me-nuts.
#393
Why did the Higgs Boson go to church?
For the mass
#807
If Tinkerbell had a Mexican sister what would her name be?
Taco Bell
#118
I’m thinking of selling my John Lennon memorabilia on eBay.
Imagine all the PayPal.
#103
My ex-wife has lessons with the devil on how to be more evil. I don’t know what she charges him.
#105
If you’re here for the yodeling lesson, please form an orderly orderly orderly orderly queue.
#891
Why do chemists like nitrates so much?
They’re cheaper than day rates.