Did you know that one of the Knights of the Round Table collected taxes?
His name was Sir Charge


Interviewer asked me if I’d make a good waiter.
Let’s just say I can bring a lot to the table


I recently got a new Korean mechanic but it’s hard to understand him – he speaks with a Hyundai Accent!


People who sometimes use the wrong words should have the humidity to admit it.


Just got sacked from my job as a dishwasher. I kept putting the plates and bowls in the wrong order. The boss reckons I am dishlexic.


What do you call an Asian man who always has the correct change?
Exact Lee


I got a sext from a redhead: “I’m all alone. Come over. Bring protection.” I took SPF50.


A handicapped guy stole my wallet.
He can hide but he can’t run


I quit my job at the helium gas factory, I refuse to be talked to in that tone of voice!


What do ballerinas take for transportation?
A tutu train


What do squirrels give for Valentine’s Day? Forget-me-nuts.


If Tinkerbell had a Mexican sister what would her name be?
Taco Bell


I’m thinking of selling my John Lennon memorabilia on eBay.
Imagine all the PayPal.


My ex-wife has lessons with the devil on how to be more evil. I don’t know what she charges him.


If you’re here for the yodeling lesson, please form an orderly orderly orderly orderly queue.


Why do chemists like nitrates so much?
They’re cheaper than day rates.

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