So this guy with a premature ejaculation problem comes out of nowhere

I went to a zoo in China last month, all they had in it was a small fluffy dog.
It was a Shitzu.

What’s the worst vegetable to eat on a boat?
Leek

I used to date a dyslexic girl. Weird girl. I took her home and she cooked my sock.

An SEO guy walks into a bar, pub, inn, tavern, hotel, public house, brew house, beer hall, bodega, izakaya

I’m not a fan of the new pound coin, but then again, I hate all change.

A Russian spy, a sexual predator, and a billionaire walk into a bar. The bartender says, “What can I get you, Mr. President?”

We need a 12-step group for compulsive talkers. They could call it On Anon Anon.

I mean – I appreciate that my friends are doing their best to cheer me up after my diagnosis, but I’ve heard so many cancer jokes today – if I get to hear just tumor I’ll really get mad.

The best way to carve wood is whittle by whittle

Two blondes are facing each other across a wide stream.
One yells to the other, ‘How do you get to the other side?’
The other blonde replies, ‘You are on the other side!’

My first job was working in an orange juice factory, but I got canned: couldn’t concentrate.

I broke my finger last week. On the other hand, I’m okay

What’s the difference between a golfer and a skydiver? A golfer goes *whack* “damn” and a skydiver goes “damn” *whack*

How do you kill a circus?
Go for the juggler

There was a man who entered a local paper’s pun contest.. He sent in ten different puns, in the hope that at least one of the puns would win. Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.

What’s the opposite of Christopher Reeve?
Christopher Walken

There are so many scams on the Internet these days…. but for $19.95 I can show you how to avoid them.