#652

So this guy with a premature ejaculation problem comes out of nowhere

#20

I went to a zoo in China last month, all they had in it was a small fluffy dog.
It was a Shitzu.

#819

Wish I was a dolphin. Then I’d have a porpoise in life

#134

I used to date a dyslexic girl. Weird girl. I took her home and she cooked my sock.

#49

An SEO guy walks into a bar, pub, inn, tavern, hotel, public house, brew house, beer hall, bodega, izakaya

#311

I’m not a fan of the new pound coin, but then again, I hate all change.

#180

A Russian spy, a sexual predator, and a billionaire walk into a bar. The bartender says, “What can I get you, Mr. President?”

#518

We need a 12-step group for compulsive talkers. They could call it On Anon Anon.

#250

I mean – I appreciate that my friends are doing their best to cheer me up after my diagnosis, but I’ve heard so many cancer jokes today – if I get to hear just tumor I’ll really get mad.

#511

Two blondes are facing each other across a wide stream.
One yells to the other, ‘How do you get to the other side?’
The other blonde replies, ‘You are on the other side!’

#470

My first job was working in an orange juice factory, but I got canned: couldn’t concentrate.

#378

I broke my finger last week. On the other hand, I’m okay

#689

What’s the difference between a golfer and a skydiver? A golfer goes *whack* “damn” and a skydiver goes “damn” *whack*

#297

There was a man who entered a local paper’s pun contest.. He sent in ten different puns, in the hope that at least one of the puns would win. Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.

#669

What’s the opposite of Christopher Reeve?
Christopher Walken

#599

There are so many scams on the Internet these days…. but for $19.95 I can show you how to avoid them.

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