Why shouldn’t you make fun of a paleontologist? Because you will get Jurasskicked.


I’ve been reading a book about anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down


What sits at the bottom of the ocean shivering?
A nervous wreck


What did the DNA say to the other DNA?

“Do these genes make me look fat?”


I remember last summer I was so excited when the water restrictions were lifted I wet my plants.


Puts the car into reverse.
“Ah, this takes me back”


What do you call someone who sells their body for a bowl of spaghetti? A pastatute!


I don’t mind kids playing hopscotch in most places, but my driveway is where I draw the line.


Did you hear about the cheese factory that exploded in France? There was nothing left but de Brie.


What do you do if a blonde throws a grenade at you? Pull the pin and throw it back.


How can you spot the blind guy at the nudist colony? It’s not hard.


What do you call a man with no arms or legs hanging on the wall?


Why do blondes tip-toe past medicine cabinets?
So they don’t wake up the sleeping pills


What part of your body likes to get frisky?
The naked eye


When I was a child my father attacked me with cameras.
I still have flashbacks


How do crazy people go through the forest? They take the physco path.

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