How do crazy people go through the forest? They take the physco path.

Doesn’t expecting the unexpected make the unexpected become the expected?

Why should you never give Elsa a balloon?
Cause she’ll just let it go

What’s Michael Jackson’s favourite painting?
Sha-Mona Lisa

Two goldfish are in a tank. One says to the other, “do you know how to drive this thing?”

The first rule of Alzheimer’s club, is don’t talk about chess club

My speech today will be like a mini-skirt. Long enough to cover the essentials but short enough to hold your attention!

A grasshopper walks into a bar. The bartender says “Hey, we have a drink named after you.” The grasshopper says “You have a drink named Steve?”

Hedgehogs — why can’t they just share the hedge

My wife said I never listen to her. Or something like that.

What is Mozart doing right now? Decomposing.

Two soldiers are in a tank.
One looks at the other and says “BLUBLUBBLUBLUBBLUB”

Shouldn’t pregnant women be called body builders?

I went bobsleighing the other day, killed 250 bobs.

The police came to my house and asked where I was between 3 and 5 . I told them pre school.

I was lonely so I bought some shares. It’s nice to have a bit of company

Let’s hope the new Jurassic world movie isn’t a train Rex of a film.

How was Rome split in two?
With a pair of Caesars

No deja vu please…
I don’t want to go through that again