I just watched a program about beavers. It was the best dam program I’ve ever seen.


My ex-wife is standing at the opposite end of the museum from me. I want to say hello but there’s just too much history between us.


I saw an ad for burial plots, and thought to myself this is the last thing I need.


I saw a bishop the other day. Wondered why he wasn’t walking diagonally


I bought a ceiling fan the other day. Complete waste of money. He just stands there applauding and saying โ€œOoh, I love how smooth it isโ€


Deja Moo – the feeling that you’ve heard this bull before


I was addicted to the hokey pokey but i turned myself around


For a short while, my uncle was a world famous chainsaw juggler. But not for being good at it. I miss uncle Stump.


My wife says I’m immature. I told her to get out of my fort


I imagine a handshake means something completely different to a cannibal.


I dreamt I wrote the Hobbit the other night. I think I was Tolkien in my sleep.


What did the hat say to the hat rack?
You stay here Iโ€™m going on a head

Back to top