#194

A bartender walks into a church, a temple and a mosque. He has no idea how jokes work.

#312

I’m looking for the girl next door type. I’m just gonna keep moving house till I find her.

#178

An atheist, a vegan and a Crossfitter walk into a bar. I only know because they told everyone within the first three minutes.

#289

A joke is like sex. Neither is any good if you don’t get it.

#528

I work in a library. Literally, all we do is judge books by their covers.

#537

Best Summer Vacation Book Never Written: “Where to Stay on Vacation” by Moe Tell.

#95

Your mum is so mean, she has no standard deviation
šŸ¤“

#372

My dad suggested I register for a donor card. He’s a man after my own heart

#241

My ex-girlfriend still misses me. But her aim is steadily improving.

#118

I’m thinking of selling my John Lennon memorabilia on eBay.
Imagine all the PayPal.

#192

I got banned from the secret cooking society… For spilling the beans.

#389

Why do seagulls fly over the sea? Because if they flew over the bay, they’d be called bagels

#294

Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the craft. Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can’t have your kayak and heat it too.

#471

What do a nearsighted gynecologist and a puppy have in common? A wet nose.

#611

Lazy People Fact #5812672793:
You were too lazy to read that number.

#176

A Roman walks into a bar, sticks two fingers up to the barman and says, “Five beers please.”

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