#194
A bartender walks into a church, a temple and a mosque. He has no idea how jokes work.
A bartender walks into a church, a temple and a mosque. He has no idea how jokes work.
Iām looking for the girl next door type. Iām just gonna keep moving house till I find her.
An atheist, a vegan and a Crossfitter walk into a bar. I only know because they told everyone within the first three minutes.
A joke is like sex. Neither is any good if you don’t get it.
I work in a library. Literally, all we do is judge books by their covers.
Best Summer Vacation Book Never Written: “Where to Stay on Vacation” by Moe Tell.
Your mum is so mean, she has no standard deviation
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My dad suggested I register for a donor card. He’s a man after my own heart
Nostalgia isn’t what it used to be.
My ex-girlfriend still misses me. But her aim is steadily improving.
I’m thinking of selling my John Lennon memorabilia on eBay.
Imagine all the PayPal.
I got banned from the secret cooking society… For spilling the beans.
Why do seagulls fly over the sea? Because if they flew over the bay, they’d be called bagels
You kill vegetarian vampires with a steak to the heart
Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the craft. Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can’t have your kayak and heat it too.
What do a nearsighted gynecologist and a puppy have in common? A wet nose.
Lazy People Fact #5812672793:
You were too lazy to read that number.
A Roman walks into a bar, sticks two fingers up to the barman and says, “Five beers please.”
What do you call a potato wearing glasses?
A spectater
I am so poor I can’t even pay attention.