What did Michael Jackson call his denim store?
Billie Jeans

Why do blonde girls walk in groups of odd numbers? Because they can’t even!

When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds

Police are looking for a guy who threatens his victims with a lit match.
They need to catch him before he strikes again

Do skunks celebrate Valentine’s Day? Sure, they’re very scent-imental!

It’s Jamaican hair style day at work tomorrow. I’m already dreading it.

I used to be a lifeguard, but this blue kid got me fired.

I have two boys, 5 and 6. We’re no good at naming things in our house.

Why don’t the enemies of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles just flip them on their backs?

I’ve just been on a once-in-a-lifetime holiday. I’ll tell you what, never again

A horse walks into a bar, across the room, up the back wall, across the ceiling, down the front wall and then up to the bar. The bartender gives the horse a beer, he drinks it and leaves. A guy sitting at the bar looks perplexed and asks the bartender “Hey, what’s that all about?” The bartender replies, “Don’t take it personally, he never says ‘Hi’ to anyone.”

There’s a fine line between a numerator and a denominator.

Only a fraction of people will find this funny.

Some people appreciate these kinds of jokes and some don’t – the division is clear.

You can’t run through a camping ground. You can only ran, because it’s past tents

RIP boiled water. You will be mist.

What’s the difference between voyeurs and thieves? Thieves snatch your watch.

Why shouldn’t you make fun of a paleontologist? Because you will get Jurasskicked.

A guy walks into a bar and orders a fruit punch.
Bartender says “Pal, if you want a punch you’ll have to stand in line”. The guy looks around, but there is no punch line.

Lazy People Fact #5812672793:
You were too lazy to read that number.