#530
What do you get when giraffes collide?
A giraffic jam
#869
I’m terrified of elevators, and I’m taking steps to avoid them
#518
We need a 12-step group for compulsive talkers. They could call it On Anon Anon.
#776
What do you call two guys sitting in a windowsill?
Kurt and Rod
#797
My dad always used to say “The sky’s the limit!”
Which is probably why he got fired from his job at NASA
#782
What do you call a bear with no ears?
B
#400
My girlfriend left me because she couldn’t handle my OCD. I told her to close the door five times on her way out.
#481
I can hear music coming out of my printer.
I think the paper’s jammin’ again.
#851
What’s an epileptics favourite food? Seizure salad
#754
Someone threw a bottle of Omega-3 pills at me. Luckily, my injuries were only super fish oil.
#391
Someone told me my clothes looked gay..
They did come out of the closet this morning.
#778
What do you call a duck with a drug problem?
A quackhead
#855
If you lose your hearing, is it ear replaceable?
#711
I went bobsleighing the other day, killed 250 bobs.
#335
I’m close friends with 25 letters of the alphabet, I don’t know y
#393
Why did the Higgs Boson go to church?
For the mass
#457
You know it’s cold outside when you go outside and its cold
#636
This weight loss website wants me to accept cookies. Hmm…
#547
I heard that Oxygen and Magnesium got together and I was like… “OMg”
#881
If towels could tell jokes they would probably have a dry sense of humor.