There’s a fine line between a numerator and a denominator.

Only a fraction of people will find this funny.

Some people appreciate these kinds of jokes and some don’t – the division is clear.

If tomatoes are technically a fruit, is ketchup technically a smoothie?

A woman’s mind is cleaner than a man’s: She changes it more often.

My wife told me she was leaving me because I keep pretending to be a Transformer.
I said “No wait, I can change!”

i thought i got a type a in blood test but it was actually a typ-o

You know what often gets overlooked? Fences.

I’m addicted to brake fluid but I can stop whenever I want

A termite walks into a bar and says “where’s the bar tender”

My ex-wife has lessons with the devil on how to be more evil. I don’t know what she charges him.

What do you call a man with no arms or legs hanging on the wall?
Art

Did you hear about the fire at the shoe factory? It was a real tragedy, 100 soles were lost.

I wonder how many chameleons snuck onto Noah’s Ark

Why does the alcoholic Avon lady walk funny? Because her lips stick.

Thieves had broken into my house and stolen everything except my soap, shower gel, towels and deodorant.
Dirty Bastards.

I was addicted to the hokey pokey but i turned myself around

I went to a zoo in China last month, all they had in it was a small fluffy dog.
It was a Shitzu.

Behind every angry woman is man who has absolutely no idea what he did wrong

What is the difference between snowmen and snowwomen? Snowballs.

My cousin drowned. At his funeral we laid a life jacket on his coffin.
It’s what he would have wanted.