#443
Yesterday, I fell down from a 10 meter ladder. Thank God I was on the third step.
Yesterday, I fell down from a 10 meter ladder. Thank God I was on the third step.
A man who loves Sherlock Holmes novels and puns names his dog Furlock. One day, he takes his dog out to town with him and stops in a little boutique. He brings his dog in with him and tries on a shirt. To his dismay, it isn’t the right size. He looks at his dog and says “No fit, Furlock.“
Where did Mary go after the explosion?
Everywhere
What do pimps and farmers have in common? They both need a hoe to stay in business
Why do chemists like nitrates so much?
They’re cheaper than day rates.
Sometimes I tuck my knees into my chest and lean forward. That’s just how I roll.
If towels could tell jokes they would probably have a dry sense of humor.
Hedgehogs — why can’t they just share the hedge
Light travels faster than sound. That’s why some people appear quite bright – until you hear them talk.
Adult: Someone who has stopped growing at both ends and now grows in the middle.
A termite walks into a bar and says “where’s the bar tender”
I bought a ceiling fan the other day. Complete waste of money. He just stands there applauding and saying “Ooh, I love how smooth it is”
A farmer counted 196 cows in the field. But when he rounded them up, he had 200
Shout out to my grandma…
That’s the only way she can hear
I would give my right arm to be ambidextrous!
Why did the old man fall in the well? Because he couldn’t see that well.
Yeah, it was on Fry Day, I can’t believe they got killed for the halibut. No motive, someone should seas the culprit. I’m crabby bout it all
How do you drown a hipster?
Throw him into the mainstream
As soon as the hospital made me put on one of those little gowns, I knew the end was in sight
Fishermen are reel men.