I’m trying to write jokes about unemployed people, but they need more work

There are only 10 types of people in the world: those who understand binary and those who don’t

When you have a bladder infection, urine trouble

The first rule of Alzheimer’s club, is don’t talk about chess club

Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

A woman’s mind is cleaner than a man’s: She changes it more often.

I love the F5 key. It´s just so refreshing.

My party trick is swallowing two peices of string and an hour later they come out of my arse tied together. I shit you knot.

A Spanish magician wanted to do a trick. He covered himself with a blanket and counted “Uno… dos…” and he vanished without a tres

My wife is leaving me because I’m going bald.

I’m not bothered, it’s hair loss.

Fishermen are reel men.

There’s a fine line between a numerator and a denominator.

Only a fraction of people will find this funny.

Some people appreciate these kinds of jokes and some don’t – the division is clear.

I haven’t slept for three days, because that would be too long.

I just realised that I haven’t done the hokey pokey in over 10 years. I guess when you get older, you just forget what it’s all about.

My wife says I can join your gang but I have to be home by 9.

What’s E.T. short for?
He’s got little legs

I’m great at multitasking.
I can waste time, be unproductive and procrastinate all at once!

My friend dug a hole in the garden and filled it with water. I think he meant well.

They’re always telling me to live my dreams. But I don’t want to be naked in an exam I haven’t revised for!