#609

I did a theatrical performance on puns.
It was a play on words.

#569

I Renamed my iPod The Titanic, so when I plug it in, it says, “The Titanic is syncing”

#432

A Chinese couple had a black baby and named it SumTing Wong.

#73

LSD causes users to lose weight. Obviously you can’t eat when a dragon is guarding the fridge

#725

Queue is just Q followed by four silent letters waiting their turn

#747

Claustrophobic people are more productive thinking out of the box.

#451

Happy 3 week anniversary to the 26 browser tabs I have open.

#346

My wife says I’m too impulsive. But what the hell does she know? She only met me yesterday.

#575

What did the NSA analyst say to his co-worker when their female colleague walked past?
“I’d tap that”

#891

Why do chemists like nitrates so much?
They’re cheaper than day rates.

#542

The sex was so good that even the neighbors had a cigarette.

#293

Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused Novocaine during a root canal? His goal: transcend dental medication

#584

I think they picked me for my motivational skills. Everyone always says they have to work twice as hard when I’m around!

#57

What’s the difference between a joke and a rhetorical question?

#431

My wife left me because I sold her wheelchair. I knew she’d come crawling back

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