Just found the worst page in the entire dictionary. What I saw was disgraceful, disgusting, dishonest, and disingenuous.

Wouldn’t exercise be more fun if calories screamed while you burned them?

If a blind woman tells you your penis is big, she’s probably just pulling your leg

What’s the internal temperature of a Tauntaun?
Luke warm

My wife isn’t talking to me because apparently I ruined her birthday.
I’m not sure how I did that – I didn’t even know it was her birthday

Did you hear about the short-sighted circumciser?
He got the sack

My ex-girlfriend still misses me. But her aim is steadily improving.

Fishermen are reel men.

What do a nearsighted gynecologist and a puppy have in common? A wet nose.

I don’t know if I just got hit by freezing rain, but it hurt like hail.

Yeah I’m into fitness… Fitness pizza in my mouth!

What did the sushi say to the bee?
Wasabi

Why couldn’t the toilet paper cross the road?
It got stuck in a crack

It’s hard to explain puns to kleptomaniacs because they always take things literally!

What kind of train eats a lot?
A chew chew train

I’m so introverted I won’t even talk to myself.

They say make up sex is the best…
Which is lucky, because all my sex is made up.

My dad was dyslexic. Whenever I swore when growing up, he’d wash my mouth out with soup.

I lost my licence so I bought a vintage Rolls Royce because I thought it came with a driver. It didn’t. So I spent all that money and I’ve got nothing to chauffeur it.

Somebody ripped a whole bunch of pages out of my dictionary. It just goes from bad to worse