I asked my North Korean friend how it was there, he said he couldn’t complain

How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram

This guy said to me: “I’m gonna attack you with the neck of my guitar.” I said: “Is that a fret?”

Did you hear about the man who jumped off a bridge in France? He was in Sein.

A Buddhist monk approaches a hot dog stand and says “make me one with everything”

A man who loves Sherlock Holmes novels and puns names his dog Furlock. One day, he takes his dog out to town with him and stops in a little boutique. He brings his dog in with him and tries on a shirt. To his dismay, it isn’t the right size. He looks at his dog and says “No fit, Furlock.“

What did the cannibal do after dumping his girlfriend? He wiped his bum.

“I stand corrected,” said the man in the orthopedic shoes.

The sex was so good that even the neighbors had a cigarette.

Clones are people two

Behind every angry woman is man who has absolutely no idea what he did wrong

“Give me a sentence about a public servant” the teacher instructed her second-grade student.
“The fireman came down the ladder pregnant” he answered.
“Umm … Do you know what pregnant means?”
“Yes” said the boy. “It means carrying a child”

Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

Have I told you this deja vu joke before?

Singing in the shower is all fun and games until you get shampoo in your mouth, then it just becomes a soap opera.

Red meat is not bad for you. Fuzzy green meat is bad for you.

When my wife told me to stop acting like a flamingo I had to put my foot down

What do you call people who illegally use restrooms? Squatters.

Why did the Mexican throw his wife off a bridge?
Tequila