Currently the flower business is blooming.

I’m trying to write jokes about unemployed people, but they need more work

I haven’t slept for three days, because that would be too long.

A magician walks down an alley and turns into a bar

If we get rid of all the margarine the world will be a butter place.

My ex-girlfriend still misses me. But her aim is steadily improving.

There’s a fine line between a numerator and a denominator.

Only a fraction of people will find this funny.

Some people appreciate these kinds of jokes and some don’t – the division is clear.

I asked my North Korean friend how it was there, he said he couldn’t complain

What do you call a sheep with no legs? A cloud

NSA Pickup Line #1:
Did you fall from heaven?
Because there’s no tracking data on how you arrived at this location

It’s bad luck to be superstitious.

Did you hear about the houses falling in love? It was a lawn-distance relationship.

What do you call it when Batman skips church? Christian Bale.

What do you call Watson when Sherlock isn’t around? Holmeless.

I’m in awe. My buddy just used a snail as a key to start up his sedan…

It made escargot.

What cheese can never be yours? Nacho cheese

The rotation of earth really makes my day.