I’m trying to write jokes about unemployed people, but they need more work

A naked man broke into a church. The police chased him around and finally caught him by the organ.

My dad always told me “Don’t be quick to find faults”.
Good man, terrible geologist.

How can you spot the blind guy at the nudist colony? It’s not hard.

My wife asked me to join her for yoga class. I said “Namaste home”

LSD causes users to lose weight. Obviously you can’t eat when a dragon is guarding the fridge

I once thanked a French guy to death. It was a merci killing.

If canola oil comes from canola, where does baby oil come from?

I’m addicted to brake fluid but I can stop whenever I want

Shhh!
Shhh!
Shhh!
Shhh!
Shhh!
Shhh!
Shhh!
Shhh!
Shhh!
-Librarians arguing

There are three kinds of people: Those who can count and those who can’t.

Prison may be just one word. But to some, it’s a whole sentence.

Why don’t helicopters fly in the morning? Twirly

What’s it like being in a vacuum cleaner? It sucks

Why should you never trust a train?
They have loco motives

What did the blanket say as it fell of the bed?
Oh sheet

I’ve just finished reading a book called “How To Give Constructive Criticism.”
It was rubbish.

A guy goes to a doctor because he’s got a strawberry growing out of his chest. The doctor looks and examines and finally says, “Let me give you some cream to put on it.”

There are 2 rules for success:
1. Don’t tell all you know.

What’s long and hard and has cum in it?
A cucumber