#668
I am frustrated than a dragon trying to blow out candles.
#626
Why should you never trust a train?
They have loco motives
#469
What do you call a bee with a low buzz?
A mumblebee
#813
What do ballerinas take for transportation?
A tutu train
#239
Whoever invented knock knock jokes should get a no bell prize.
#801
The only thing flat-earthers fear…
Is sphere itself
#757
My cross-eyed wife and I just got a divorce. We didn’t see eye to eye. I also found out she was seeing someone on the side.
#130
My wife asked me to bring home stuff for the pancakes. She wasn’t happy when I arrived with a push-up bra.
#830
I spent all day yesterday floating out in the bay.
It’s been my dream ever since I was a little buoy.
#715
What do the movies titanic and the sixth sense have in common.
Icy dead people.
#781
I decided to make my password “incorrect” because if I type it in wrong, my computer will remind me,
“Your password is incorrect.”
#373
Where did Mary go after the explosion?
Everywhere
#216
Why does a chicken coop have 2 doors?
Because if it had 4 doors it would be called chicken sedan.
#118
I’m thinking of selling my John Lennon memorabilia on eBay.
Imagine all the PayPal.
#292
Accidentally fell asleep smoking an e cigarette. When I woke up, the whole house was on the Internet
#607
What do people wear in a trench? Trench coats.
#401
When my wife told me to stop acting like a flamingo I had to put my foot down
#90
This guy said to me: “Iām gonna attack you with the neck of my guitar.” I said: “Is that a fret?”
#283
I just realised that I haven’t done the hokey pokey in over 10 years. I guess when you get older, you just forget what it’s all about.
#335
I’m close friends with 25 letters of the alphabet, I don’t know y