A donkey fell into a bowl of sugar. Now that’s a sweet ass!!

I called the cops about a murder on my front lawn.
They said they couldn’t do anything about crows and to stop calling them.

I’ve bought my son a huge wooden horse for Christmas.

I got it from ‘Troys R Us.’

I hate gravity, it always gets me down

A naked man broke into a church. The police chased him around and finally caught him by the organ.

My dad always told me “Don’t be quick to find faults”.
Good man, terrible geologist.

What’s the difference between an oral thermometer and a rectal thermometer? The taste

What do PCs and air conditioners have in common?
They both become useless when you open windows

At any given moment the urge to sing, “The Lion Sleeps Tonight” is just a whim away. A whim away. A whim away.

Can a woman make you a millionaire?
Yes, if you’re a billionaire

A baby seal walks into a club.

What’s the leading cause of dry skin? Towels

Why shouldn’t you make fun of a paleontologist? Because you will get Jurasskicked.

I’m trying to write jokes about unemployed people, but they need more work

I burnt My Hawaiian pizza today…

I should’ve cooked it on aloha temperature

If tomatoes are technically a fruit, is ketchup technically a smoothie?

Relationships between men and women is psychological.
She is psycho and he is logical.

I’m close friends with 25 letters of the alphabet, I don’t know y

I was addicted to the hokey pokey but i turned myself around

What was the demon arrested for?
Possession