#609
I did a theatrical performance on puns.
It was a play on words.
#179
I met a woman with 12 boobs…
Sounds weird dozen tit!
#348
What did the remote say to the TV? You turn me on.
#670
Two bars walk into a man, LSD is powerful stuff
#391
Someone told me my clothes looked gay..
They did come out of the closet this morning.
#734
Did you hear about the man who was accidentally buried alive?
It was a grave mistake.
#706
What part of a vegetable do cannibals struggle to eat?
The wheelchair
#768
Where does Buzz Lightyear go furniture shopping at? Bed, Bath, and BEYOND!
#459
I eat my tacos over a Tortilla. That way when stuff falls out, BOOM, another taco.
#861
How do you get a man with only one arm out of a tree? Wave.
#242
If you spent your day in a well, can you say your day was well-spent?
#497
Doing things that you are not supposed to do at work makes your vision, hearing and alertness much better.
#362
I’m in awe. My buddy just used a snail as a key to start up his sedan…
It made escargot.
#823
Why did the grandma put wheels on her rocking chair? She liked to rock and roll
#272
Yo mamma is so fat that when she sat on a laptop, the hardware turned into software!
#421
There are 2 rules for success:
1. Don’t tell all you know.
#835
I said to a mate, “What’s your pet hate?”
He said, “He doesn’t like it when the vet puts a thermometer up his butt”.
#285
When are holes beautiful? When they’re gorges.
#52
It’s not that the man did not know how to juggle, he just didn’t have the balls to do it.
#518
We need a 12-step group for compulsive talkers. They could call it On Anon Anon.