The seven dwarfs were in the bath feeling happy so he got out.

If you lose your hearing, is it ear replaceable?

My wife is complaining that I never buy her jewellery. To be fair, I didn’t even know she sold jewellery.

The future, the present and the past walked into a bar. Things got a little tense.

Why do chemists like nitrates so much?
They’re cheaper than day rates.

I have a fear of speed bumps. Im slowly getting over it

Have you heard about the cannibal that passed his brother in the forest?

How do crazy people go through the forest? They take the physco path.

I wasn’t particularly close to my dad before he died…
Which was lucky, because he trod on a landmine.

Why can’t you hear a pterodactyl in the toilet? Because it has a silent p

I’m not saying your perfume is too strong. I’m just saying the canary was alive before you got here.

The thing about dwarfs and midgets is that they have very little in common

A hole was found in the wall of a nudist camp. The police are looking into it.

What kind of train eats a lot?
A chew chew train

I met a woman with 12 boobs…
Sounds weird dozen tit!

Little Red Riding Hood found in a critical condition. Paramedics have stabilised her condition, but she’s not out of the woods yet.

Did you hear about the man who was accidentally buried alive?
It was a grave mistake.

Thieves had broken into my house and stolen everything except my soap, shower gel, towels and deodorant.
Dirty Bastards.

Puts the car into reverse.
“Ah, this takes me back”