I knew a guy who collected candy canes, they were all in mint condition.

An SEO guy walks into a bar, pub, inn, tavern, hotel, public house, brew house, beer hall, bodega, izakaya

Why do blonde girls walk in groups of odd numbers? Because they can’t even!

I used to be a lifeguard, but this blue kid got me fired.

What do squirrels give for Valentine’s Day? Forget-me-nuts.

Working in a mirror factory is something I can totally see myself doing

What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?
One’s really heavy and the other is a little lighter

I heard that Oxygen and Magnesium got together and I was like… “OMg”

When Jay-Z got engaged, did he call her his Feyonce?

Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the craft. Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can’t have your kayak and heat it too.

I don’t know if I just got hit by freezing rain, but it hurt like hail.

Queue is just Q followed by four silent letters waiting their turn

There are only 10 types of people in the world: those who understand binary and those who don’t

What do you call a woman with no legs? Nolene

With sufficient thrust, pigs fly just fine.

I’ve bought my son a huge wooden horse for Christmas.

I got it from ‘Troys R Us.’

If towels could tell jokes they would probably have a dry sense of humor.

I like European food so I decided to Russia over there because I was Hungary. After Czech’ing the menu I ordered Turkey. When I was Finnished I told the waiter ‘Spain good but there is Norway I could eat another bite’.

Marketing companies should use chromosomes in advertisements because sex cells