What do you call a bee with a low buzz?
A mumblebee

What’s the definition of a will? (It’s a dead giveaway)

What do PCs and air conditioners have in common?
They both become useless when you open windows

Thank you, my arms, for always being there by my side.

Is google a woman? Because it won’t let you finish your sentence without coming up with other suggestions.

I had an argument with one of the seven dwarfs. He wasn’t happy

Why don’t cannibals eat clowns? They taste funny..

Where does Buzz Lightyear go furniture shopping at? Bed, Bath, and BEYOND!

I still remember the day the scented candle shop I worked at burned to the ground.

Everyone was so calm…..

My wife says I’m too impulsive. But what the hell does she know? She only met me yesterday.

If a blind woman tells you your penis is big, she’s probably just pulling your leg

I would lose weight, but I hate losing.

What does a baby computer call his dad?
Data

Apparently I snore so loudly that it scares everyone in the car I’m driving

Police are looking for a guy who threatens his victims with a lit match.
They need to catch him before he strikes again

I had the most amazing orange the other day

It was a class above the zest

What do you call it when Batman skips church? Christian Bale.

The sex was so good that even the neighbors had a cigarette.

“Your finest Scotch, please.” “Yes, sir,” the guy at Officeworks says as he hands me a 12 year old roll of tape.