What happened to the cannibal that was late to dinner?
He was given the cold shoulder

Atheists don’t solve exponential equations because they don’t believe in higher powers.

I just watched a program about beavers. It was the best dam program I’ve ever seen.

A grasshopper walks into a bar. The bartender says “Hey, we have a drink named after you.” The grasshopper says “You have a drink named Steve?”

Two birds are sitting on a perch and one says “Do you smell fish?”

Just found the worst page in the entire dictionary. What I saw was disgraceful, disgusting, dishonest, and disingenuous.

What’s the internal temperature of a Tauntaun?
Luke warm

19 and 20 got into a fight.
21.

Doesn’t expecting the unexpected make the unexpected become the expected?

Someone stole my toilet and the police have nothing to go on.

Why did Humpty Dumpty push his girlfriend off the wall? So he could see her crack!

What do you call a number that can’t keep still?
A roamin’ numeral

My jokes are still in alpha

Hopefully soon they’ll get beta

There’s a new shaver designed for dyslexics.
It’s the best thing since sliced beard.

A courtroom artist was arrested today for an unknown reason… details are sketchy.

Fishermen are reel men.

Don’t fart in an apple store, there’s no windows!