#788
What jam can’t you eat?
Traffic

What jam can’t you eat?
Traffic
What happened to the cannibal that was late to dinner?
He was given the cold shoulder
Psychologist: Can you describe yourself in two words?
Me: Lazy.
Atheists don’t solve exponential equations because they don’t believe in higher powers.
I just watched a program about beavers. It was the best dam program I’ve ever seen.
A grasshopper walks into a bar. The bartender says “Hey, we have a drink named after you.” The grasshopper says “You have a drink named Steve?”
Two birds are sitting on a perch and one says “Do you smell fish?”
Just found the worst page in the entire dictionary. What I saw was disgraceful, disgusting, dishonest, and disingenuous.
What’s the internal temperature of a Tauntaun?
Luke warm
19 and 20 got into a fight.
21.
Doesn’t expecting the unexpected make the unexpected become the expected?
One of my mates is selling his budgie.
Unfortunately it’s not going cheap
Someone stole my toilet and the police have nothing to go on.
Why did Humpty Dumpty push his girlfriend off the wall? So he could see her crack!
What do you call a number that can’t keep still?
A roamin’ numeral
My jokes are still in alpha
Hopefully soon they’ll get beta
There’s a new shaver designed for dyslexics.
It’s the best thing since sliced beard.
A courtroom artist was arrested today for an unknown reason… details are sketchy.
Fishermen are reel men.
Don’t fart in an apple store, there’s no windows!