#23
I used to think I was indecisive, but now I’m not too sure
#502
How do crazy people go through the forest? They take the physco path.
#605
What do you call a Far Eastern monk who sells reincarnations?
A used karma dealer
#434
Can’t believe they fired me from the clock factory after all the extra hours I put in
#745
I just found out I’m colorblind. The diagnosis came completely out of the purple.
#403
It puzzles me that a bra is singular and panties are plural.
#884
What was Helen Keller’s favourite colour?
Velcro
#360
My jokes are still in alpha
Hopefully soon they’ll get beta
#753
Why do Swedish warships have barcodes on them? So when they dock they can Scandinavian.
#808
My friend has been a limo driver for 25 years and has never had a customer.
All that time and nothing to chauffeur it
#816
What’s the least spoken language in the world?
Sign language
#828
Did you know that one of the Knights of the Round Table collected taxes?
His name was Sir Charge
#400
My girlfriend left me because she couldn’t handle my OCD. I told her to close the door five times on her way out.
#74
I ordered 2000 lbs. of chinese soup.
It was Won Ton.
#595
My girlfriend and I often laugh about how competitive we are. But I laugh more.
#197
Did you hear about the fire at the shoe factory? It was a real tragedy, 100 soles were lost.
#459
I eat my tacos over a Tortilla. That way when stuff falls out, BOOM, another taco.
#539
Why do blondes tip-toe past medicine cabinets?
So they don’t wake up the sleeping pills
#880
I have six eyes, two mouths and three ears. What am I? Ugly
#269
I didn’t like my beard at first but then it grew on me.