#23

I used to think I was indecisive, but now I’m not too sure

#502

How do crazy people go through the forest? They take the physco path.

#605

What do you call a Far Eastern monk who sells reincarnations?
A used karma dealer

#434

Can’t believe they fired me from the clock factory after all the extra hours I put in

#745

I just found out I’m colorblind. The diagnosis came completely out of the purple.

#403

It puzzles me that a bra is singular and panties are plural.

#884

What was Helen Keller’s favourite colour?
Velcro

#360

My jokes are still in alpha

Hopefully soon they’ll get beta

#753

Why do Swedish warships have barcodes on them? So when they dock they can Scandinavian.

#808

My friend has been a limo driver for 25 years and has never had a customer.
All that time and nothing to chauffeur it

#816

What’s the least spoken language in the world?
Sign language

#828

Did you know that one of the Knights of the Round Table collected taxes?
His name was Sir Charge

#400

My girlfriend left me because she couldn’t handle my OCD. I told her to close the door five times on her way out.

#595

My girlfriend and I often laugh about how competitive we are. But I laugh more.

#197

Did you hear about the fire at the shoe factory? It was a real tragedy, 100 soles were lost.

#459

I eat my tacos over a Tortilla. That way when stuff falls out, BOOM, another taco.

#539

Why do blondes tip-toe past medicine cabinets?
So they don’t wake up the sleeping pills

#880

I have six eyes, two mouths and three ears. What am I? Ugly

#269

I didn’t like my beard at first but then it grew on me.

Back to top