A friend of mine tried to annoy me with bird puns, but I soon realized that toucan play at that game.

When does a sandwich cook?
When it’s bakin lettuce and tomato

What do a nearsighted gynecologist and a puppy have in common? A wet nose.

I used to date a dyslexic girl. Weird girl. I took her home and she cooked my sock.

I’m the kind of guy who stops the microwave at 1 second just to feel like a bomb defuser.

I can only tell you a bad chemistry joke because all the good ones Argon

What has four letters

A bartender walks into a church, a temple and a mosque. He has no idea how jokes work.

I’ve accidentally swallowed some Scrabble tiles. My next crap could spell disaster.

I have a stepladder. Because my real ladder left when I was a kid

Whoever invented knock knock jokes should get a no bell prize.

The roundest knight at king Arthur’s round table was Sir Cumference.

Took my dog to a bonfire and as he sat there staring at it blankly I realised he loves sticks. I was burning a giant pile of his toys.

Velociraptor = Distance raptor / Time raptor

A woman’s mind is cleaner than a man’s: She changes it more often.

What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball? Juan on Juan

What do PCs and air conditioners have in common?
They both become useless when you open windows